ForgottenDog has NOT been forgotten! - Dena - Jun 9th 2009
This is in response to Wes (forgottendog). After reading this article and Wes' comments I realize for the first time just how Major my depression is and has been for several years. The suffering is unbearable. I have completely shut myself off from most all of the world and my friends and family. Without God in my life there would be little or no light.
Wes, in no way can I say that I have been in your shoes, but I did serve 19 1/2 years in the military. There are, I'm sure, some things we may have in common having been part of our fighting forces and by providing safety and security for our national and the rest of the world around us. It is a huge undertaking in all the lives of our service men and women, regardless of what your job may be. We are all a part of it, and it can reek havoc in our lives.
I know 'You Have A Way' now that is quite different from what you envisioned for yourself. You have so much to offer us. The things you have experienced cannot be learned in any other way than what you have been through. Therapists cannot do for you what I believe and know you need. Our Lord, Jesus Christ is the only one that can help you make sense of what the meaning of your life is. He knows this is a dark world, ruled by satan. God is light. He will save you from this world of darkness. Please, talk to Him and let His Holy Spirit into you heart. You will soon learn that you truly are NOT forgotten, but rather loved very much.
Thank you for your service of protection. You will be a survivor. You had to do the hardest job anyone could be asked to do. You need to ask the Lord for forgiveness and then forgive yourself and begin a new life, a life with real purpose. Help others that have or are still wearing your shoes. Your true mission in this life is just now beginning. In our weakness we are made strong.
For God so loved His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. -John 3:16
Blessings,
Dena I HAD A WAY! It was destroyeed. - wes - Jun 2nd 2009
When i was 18 years old i took part in shock and awe {the initial invasion of iraq} by the time i was 19 i had killed my 14th person. im now alot older, and im a shut in, i dont speak to my parents anymore(the only ones who loved me) i abandoned my wife. im paranoid, and the paranoia leads to anxiety, and those two stacked up cause horrible panic attacks. almost kicked down a door because my palms were to sweaty to turn the knob.get light headed and find my self balling fists at people who talk to much. Ive seen a proffesional. And he had the audacity to tell me , all i have to do is find my way? I HAD A WAY! It was destroyeed. it left with my innocence, now all i want is clarity. What is wrong with me? if anyone knows, my email is forgottendog@aol.com I just had to write - Worrybird - Apr 12th 2009
OMG after reading the last persons entry I just had to write. I have also had a bad time with therapist, namely Psychiatrist. The first psychiatrist I saw kept asking me what was wrong, who else in my family experiences depression (no one that I am aware of) and she continued to with that depression is inherided and if no one else in my family suffers how could I. She kept getting my family facts mixed up. Most of our sessions were spent talking about her diabetes. On my last session with her she made a comment about myself that way in no way true ( an alcoholic) and I had no idea were she got this idea from. I was so frustrated and confused I started to cry and then she yelled at me for crying. Why should I be crying. I don't need this in my office, it will only stress me out more she said. All I could do was get up and walk out. If it was not for my insurance company I wo6/1uld never see another Psychiatrist again and would stay with the therapist, psychotherapist, I am with now but to them that is not good enough. I don't understand this but it is not up to me. Major Depression is cyclic - Sam Garner - Jun 20th 2008
I have been depressed since I was 14 years old and I am 61 years old. When you suffer chronic deppression you do not exhibit good reasoning. You should avoid making major changes at all cost. If you are single and dating don't get married without a major reasoning session. I AM ALSO A SURVIVOR OF SUICIDE. my only child developed schizo-affectine disorder at age 14 and completed suicide December 14, 2002 age 17. My marriage ended 3 months later when my wife deserted me because she could not handle the grief. I am now divorced and live in Guam. I wish I could tell you somethins to cure your problem with your major depression. Professional treatment by a competant Psyciatrist with medication and pschotherapy with a social worker or psychologist is a large comoponent in you recovery efforts. I can tell you honestly, the pain never goes away completely, but you can learn to bear your cross in life and offer it up to Jesus as a part of his suffering on the Cross for us. It really works. Been there done that. One day at a time sometimes 1 hour at a time. Just force yourself to start with 1 hour of the day as a positive person. Build upon that and go out side and look at the beauty found in the natural world of which you are a part of. Then you realize we are in a wonderful beautiful place to live 1 hour ata time. - - Jan 17th 2008
I have been experiencing depression for most of my life. Since I was a child suicide was always an option in my mind. I acted on it as a teenager and this brought on several stays in mental hospitals as well as trying several different brands of anti depressants. I have had periods in my life where I am ok and feel fine. Depression brought on poor decision making in my younger years and some of those decisions were life altering and continue to stress me years after. For example: marrying very young to someone who was not the best for me, having children at a young age. A lot of my depression stemmed from feeling a lack of love from my parents, my father specifically. I find that when I am feeling better and try to reach out to him in my adulthood and get rejected or ignored this helps onset my depression. I have decided not to contact him again. I have experienced poor choice in mates, retrospectively I found that some of these mates exhibited characteristics that remind me of my father. I have decided to also put a halt on searching for a mate until I can break this pattern. The feeling that I was not good enough has helped somehow in my career. I always have to do my best to "prove my worth" which led to promotions at work, the problem with that is that I feel overworked. The benefit is that I was able to increase my income and I am able to care for my household and children. I am currently taking an anti-depressant and I have found that it helps allevieate my symptoms. Usually, the onset of a unipolar episode with me begins with a gradual de-socialization on my part. I become more emotionally unavailable to friends, I avoid my phone. I know that I am in a deep depressive state when I begin to have nightmares every night and a feeling of doom develops. I found that trying to help others and reaching out helps me come out of my depression. Actively developing a grateful attitude helps. Mentally rehearsing the things that I am thankful for and take for granted helps. I also try not to lose my temper. I am ususally very patient and when feeling down I develop anxiety and impatience with other people's flaws. Being aware of this and not acting on it helps. Major Depression - - Sep 17th 2007
This is true. I have been dealing with a major depressive epsiodes for about six years now. I at first believed i was going crazy, but then things got worse. I stopped eating, i grimace constantly, I cant sleep or when i do i sleep to much. Nothing seems to get me excited, I am in college now, and though i have gotten treatment, i am afraid that the symptoms will manifest themselves again. I am staritng to do somethings out of charcter. i am needing some help, but the profesionals dont seem to get it. They keep asking me, why i am depressed, what happend to make me depressed. I usually feel worse when i leave their office than i did coming in. I wont hurt myself like this agin, I cont go and live in a cave for the rest of my life. Is there a way for me to understand the major depressive disorders better. | 
