Resources  email page print page Basic Information Introduction to Anxiety DisordersOrganizations for Anxiety DisordersAnxiety Disorders Symptoms - AgoraphobiaSymptoms - Generalized Anxiety DisorderAnxiety Disorders Symptoms - Panic AttackAnxiety Disorders Symptoms - Panic DisorderAnxiety Disorders Symptoms - Social PhobiaAnxiety Disorders Symptoms - Specific PhobiaSymptoms of Anxiety DisordersAnxiety Disorders Treatment - Generalized Anxiety DisorderAnxiety Disorders Treatment - Panic DisorderAnxiety Disorders Treatment - Social PhobiaAnxiety Disorders Treatment - Specific PhobiaTreatment of Generalized Anxiety Disorder and TraumaTreatment of Panic-Related Anxiety DisordersAnxiety Disorders Treatment - Phobias More Information Anxiety as a Defense Against Depression: Part 6Anxiety as a Defense Against Depression: Part 7Anxiety Disorders in Children and AdolescentsCouples Therapy for Robert and Julia (Romeo and Juliet)Do You Have a Shy Bladder? UpdatedFacts About Anxiety DisordersFacts about Generalized Anxiety DisorderFacts about Panic DisorderFacts about Social PhobiaHoardingPanic Disorder - When Fear Holds SwayParent's Anxiety Disorders And Children's AdjustmentPTSD treatment readiness and the looming Iraq war PTSD bubbleSix Simple Habits That Defeat AnxietySmall Penis Syndrome: Characteristics and Self-Help Treatment SuggestionsWhy People Might Use Anxiety to Avoid Depression: Part 3Why People Might Use Anxiety to Avoid Depression: Part 4Why People Might Use Anxiety to Avoid Depression: Part 5Wise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with David Barlow, Ph.D. on the Nature and Treatment of Anxiety and Panic DisordersWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Dr. Michelle Craske on Anxiety Disorders Research and TreatmentWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Richard Heimberg, Ph.D. on Anxiety Research and TreatmentWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Steven Phillipson, Ph.D. on the Nature and Treatment of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Latest News Depression, Anxiety May Raise Odds of ObesityTroubled Minds Can Mean Wider WaistlinesSoothe Back-to-School Anxiety, Teach Kids to RelaxClassification of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder DebatableHealth Tip: Signs That You May Have Obsessive-Compulsive DisorderInsomnia and Anxiety May Be Genetically LinkedStudy Challenges Link Between Panic Attacks, PTSDBehavioral Therapy Improves Anxiety Symptoms in ElderlyGirls' Anti-Social Behavior Predictive of Later DepressionAntidepressant Eases Anxiety in Older AdultsSerotonin Transporter Gene Tied to Social AnxietyPanic Disorder Linked to Higher Risk of Heart DiseaseAnxiety News Feeds Questions and Answers I'm Afraid I'm Going CrazyPost Brain Surgery Mental ProblemsWould Medication Help? obsessive strange thoughts about life and existentialismAm I Crazy?Is it Anxiety? Is it Normal to Be Like That?Depressed 19 year old college studentDepression helps to contribute to my unemployment! - Paula Relationship Anxiety Disconnected Blog Entries Taking a Mindful Path Through ShynessYou vs. Procrastination: 1 (Mindful) Secret to Winning the BattleFreedom from Your Anxious MindAre You Wired to Worry? 3 Common Mistakes People Make When Working with InsomniaThere is No Such Thing as ADDWhat You Need to Know to Help Heal Insomnia Overcoming School Anxiety: An Interview with Diane Peters MayerHoardingAn Interview with Gail Steketee, PhD, on Hoarding and OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder)In a Falling Economy, Trust Your Gut Or Reason? Avoidant Personality Disorder and Social PhobiaDo You Have a Shy Bladder? UpdatedWhat Every Parent Should Know About School Anxiety5 Steps to Emotional Freedom: Placebo or Panacea?Couples Therapy for Robert and Julia (Romeo and Juliet)Anxiety as a Defense Against Depression: Part 7Can Anxiety Be a Good Thing? Anxiety as a Defense Against Depression: Part 6Why People Might Use Anxiety to Avoid Depression: Part 5Why People Might Use Anxiety to Avoid Depression: Part 4Why People Might Use Anxiety to Avoid Depression: Part 3Why People Might Use Anxiety to Avoid Depression: Part 2Why People Might Use Anxiety to Avoid Depression: What We Can Learn From a Wartime ExperienceI Blush, Therefore I...Feeling Stuck with Anxiety or Depression? Try this Today! Catastrophizing Controlling Your Life: 3 Steps to Break FreeNew A&E Series Explores Anxiety DisordersRejection, Why Does It Hurt So Much?An Interview with Steven Phillipson, Ph.D. on the Nature and Treatment of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)Anxiety, Stress and Depresion in Light of the RecessionTherapy for Borderline Personality Disorder – building a life instead of digging up the past?Young Yet Sad: The Social PhobicHow trying to avoid your fear, anxiety, and panic keeps it knocking on your doorCatastrophizing Illness: Mind and Body RevisitedAn Interview with Victoria Lemle Beckner, Ph.D. on Treatments for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)Small Penis Syndrome: Characteristics and Self-Help Treatment SuggestionsSocial Phobia and Self Concept and the BrainAn Interview with Frank Ochberg, MD on Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)TIME OUT! 2 Things you can practice today to stave off anxiety and depression in this hectic time. Shy Bladder Syndrome (Paruresis): Getting HelpAn Interview with Edna Foa, Ph.D. on the Nature and Treatment of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)Going to the Dentist: Fears and PhobiasStuff, Why Is It So Difficult to Part With?An Interview with Michelle Craske, Ph.D. on Anxiety Disorders Research and TreatmentBlenophobia, The Fear of NeedlesDo You Have a Shy Bladder?Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Plagued by DoubtPost Traumatic Stress Disorder and Iraqi VeteransPsychotherapy and Murder in New York: Should We All Stay Home?An Interview with David H. Barlow Ph.D. on the Nature and Treatment of Anxiety and Panic DisordersWorried SickAn Interview with Richard Heimberg, Ph.D. on Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder Research and TreatmentTreating PTSD, Part TwoNational Stress Øut WeekHalloween...Fear With A PurposePTSD treatment readiness and the looming Iraq war PTSD bubbleParent's Anxiety Disorders And Children's AdjustmentAn Anxiety Disorder: Small Penis SyndromeCollege and Mental Health Problems, They Go TogetherSeparation Anxiety DisorderRecognizing emotion gets harder or easier depending on your moodThe Story of A Psychiatric Service Dog TeamEarly verbal abuse results in more adult depressionOn Being A PerfectionistChronic cortisol exposure causes mood disordersTreating PTSD with Beta-BlockersDavid Beckham has OCDCortisol May Be an Anxiety TreatmentGenetic contribution to OCD may have been identified Videos Top 10 Phobias VideoAll About Fears and Phobias VideoSpotting the Signs of Stress VideoAnxiety Overview VideoFighting Fears and Phobias VideoMedication for Fears and Phobias VideoSocial Anxiety Disorder VideoAgoraphobia VideoCognitive Behavioral Treatments for Phobias VideoAlternative Treatments for Phobias VideoAnxiety and OCD VideoChildhood Phobias and Anxieties VideoGenerlized Anxiety Disorder VideoPanic Disorder VideoPost-Traumatic Stress Disorder VideoIf I Had - A Child With Sudden Mood or Anxiety Symptoms Video Overcoming AnxietyTransient vs. Persistent Anxiety in ChildrenTreatments for Pediatric AnxietyIdentifying Childhood AnxietyOvercoming Fear of HeightsGeneralized Anxiety DisorderToo Scared: Social Anxiety DisorderObsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) VideoPanic Disorders VideoPhobias Video Links [3] Articles[3] Associations[5] Community[2] Government[25] Information[2] Journals[2] Research[2] Self-Help[2] Tutorials[26] Videos[2] Personal Experiences[7] Blogs[2] Podcasts Book Reviews A Brief History of AnxietyAnxietyAnxiety, Phobias, and PanicBeen There, Done That? DO THIS!Calm Beneath the WavesGetting ControlHelping Students Overcome Depression and AnxietyJust CheckingOvercoming School AnxietyPanic DisorderPassing for NormalPhobic and Anxiety Disorders in Children and AdolescentsRepressed SpacesSelf-CoachingStressStress Survival GuideTextbook of Anxiety DisordersThe Age of AnxietyThe Anxieties of AffluenceThe Male Stress Survival GuideThe Places That Scare YouThe Stress CureTreating Affect PhobiaUnder Pressure and OverwhelmedWhen Words Are Not EnoughWish I Could Be ThereYoga Journal's Yoga for Stress Self-Help Groups BPSO (Bipolar Significant Others Bulletin Board)

Community Talk about this issue in our mental health support community

Therapist Search Find a Therapist:  (USA/CAN only) Use our Advanced Search to locate a therapist outside of North America.

Related Topics Depression: Major Depression & Unipolar Varieties Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Emotional Resilience Mental Disorders Autism ADHD Alcohol & Substance Abuse Anxiety Disorders Bipolar Disorder Conversion Disorders Depression (Unipolar) Depression Primer Disorders of Childhood Eating Disorders Dissociative Disorders Impulse Control Disorders Internet Addiction Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Personality Disorders Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Schizophrenia Sexual Disorders Suicide & Self-Harm Tourettes and other Tic Disorders Medical Disorders Alzheimers And Other Dementias Cancer Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease Colds and Flu Crohns Disease / Irritable Bowel Diabetes Epilepsy Heart Disease High Blood Pressure Memory Problems Men's Health Multiple Sclerosis Sexually Transmitted Diseases Sleep Disorders Stroke Women's Health Wellness Anger Management Emotional Resilience Exercise Smoking Stress Reduction Weight Loss Life Issues Abuse Adoption Child Care Dating Disabilities Disasters Divorce Domestic Violence and Rape Elder Care Family & Relationship Issues Grief & Bereavement Issues Pain Management Parenting Parenting Child & Adolescent Development Overview Child Development and Parenting: Infants Child Development and Parenting: Early Childhood Pregnancy Infertility Child Care Relationship Problems Self Esteem Sexuality & Sexual Problems Speech Problems Terrorism & War Healthcare Health Insurance Health Policy & Advocacy Health Sciences Mental Health Professions Treatments & Interventions Alternative Medicine Assessment Medications Psychotherapy Lifespan Development Pregnancy Child & Adolescent Development Overview Child Development and Parenting: Infants Child Development and Parenting: Early Childhood Sexuality & Sexual Problems Homosexuality & Bisexuality Aging & Geriatrics Death & Dying

	Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. A blog about mindfulness, stress-reduction, psychotherapy and mental health.
View Full Archive   Dr. Goldstein's Biography   Contact Dr. Goldstein

Today it is my pleasure to be introducing and interviewing Diane Peters Mayer, LCSW, a seasoned psychotherapist and author of Overcoming School Anxiety: How to Help Your Child Deal With Separation, Tests, Homework, Bullies, Math Phobia, and Other Worries. She is also author of the blog Overcoming School Anxiety.

Question: As a therapist I have seen more kids and teens coming in with school anxiety than ever before. Is this your experience and if so, why is this?

Diane: Yes Elisha, I'm seeing the same thing in my practice, with the majority of students in the tween group, ages 8-13. The main problem children are coming in with is separation anxiety, which seems pervasive. These kids begin to dread going out the door to school, making mornings pretty nightmarish for the child, but the whole family suffers too. Many of the problems children and parents talk about that I believe cause or increase school anxiety include:

1. Increased School Pressure -- Even kindergarten isn't playtime anymore with the proliferation of testing from K thru 12. It's tough for some kids to be judged and evaluated against their peers, and if they don't test well their self-worth generally suffers. Homework loads are heavy in many school districts creating anxiety for children who are already anxious or have trouble keeping up with the work.
   
   
2. Family Stress-Parents are reporting more household stress than ever. The economy has decimated many parents' jobs and financial security. If both parents are working, there may be little time for family interaction, for example, sit down dinners. School mornings can be chaotic and anxiety filled trying to get everybody out of the house at the same time-not a great way to start the day. Some children are over-scheduled and have little time to play, think, or just be kids.
   
   
3. Social Pressure-Social difficulties can start right away in kindergarten. Children who have a hard time trying to "fit in" and can't are at a high risk for school anxiety. Tweens especially, bring in this problem. Bullying is common even in elementary school and US government studies report that over 70 percent of all school children will be the victim of at least one bullying incident.
   
   
4. Technology-I hear lots of, "I can't get her away from the computer or TV!" The Mayo Clinic reports that excessive computer or TV use by children can lead to obesity, sleep problems, attention problems, depression and anxiety.

advertisement

Question: What are the greatest obstacles to overcoming school anxiety?

Diane: One of the obstacles to overcoming school anxiety is that children have a hard time making sense of their anxious symptoms. Most kids just know that they feel sick and nervous and the thought of going to school is dreadful for them.  The symptoms of anxiety are so disturbing and frightening that trying to flee to safety is the only answer for a child.

Imagine a 3^rd grader having to deal with a pounding heartbeat, a stomachache, diarrhea, nausea, headache, muscle tension, shortness of breath, dizziness, feeling overwhelmed, out of control, helpless and embarrassed. And that's only some of the symptoms-it's no wonder that anxious children initially don't believe they can get better.

Another obstacle occurs when a parent's concern, fear and anxiety is projected onto their child. Overt parental anxiety only exacerbates the child's anxiety. And some parents have a difficult time understanding that their child is not manipulating, but really suffering.

Lastly, it's what the school will do to help the child adjust and become a successful student. Most schools I deal with have wonderful programs in place for anxious kids. A few don't which makes it more difficult for the child.

Question: If you were sitting across the table from a worried parent right now who has a child struggling with school anxiety, what advice would you give them?

Diane: First, I'd say that your child can overcome school anxiety, but it's going to take work from you and your child. Here are some tips to start the process:

1. Talk to your child about what is troubling her. Listen to and honor her feelings no matter how irrational they sound. Reassure your child that together you are going to solve the problem and make things better for her.
   
   
2. Be aware of your own anxiety and stay calm no matter what your child says or how she behaves. Your child is feeling out of control and you must be her "rock."
   
   
3.  Learn relaxation and calming exercises. I teach kids and parents how to belly breathe and "stay present centered" among other techniques which help them to take control of the anxiety and build confidence.
   
   
4. Contact the school immediately and problem solve with teachers and guidance counselors. If symptoms persist see your family physician and a child therapist.
   
   
5. Talk to your child calmly about why she must go to school-to learn, it's the law, etc. Don't freak out when she balks.
   
   
6. Reduce household stress and model good stress management and coping skills.
   
   
7. Let your child know that you believe in her ability to overcome anxiety. Your belief in your child is empowering and will help her succeed.

 Thank you Elisha and readers of this wonderful site.

As always, please share your thoughts, stories, and questions below. Your interactions create a living wisdom for us all to benefit from.

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. is a Clinical Psychologist and conducts a private practice in West Los Angeles. He is co-author of A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook (New Harbinger, February 2010).

Check out Dr. Goldstein's acclaimed CD's on Mindful Solutions for Stress, Anxiety, and Depression, Mindful Solutions for Addiction and RelapsePrevention, and Mindful Solutions for Success and Stress Reduction at Work. -- "They are so relevant, I have marked them as one of my favorites on a handout I give to all new clients" ~ Psychiatrist.

If you're wanting an interactive program to find relief from anxiety and stress, check out Dr. Goldstein's progressive online behavioral change program in Aliveworld.

If you're wanting to integrate more mindfulness into your daily life, sign up for his Mindful Living Twitter Feed. Dr. Goldstein is also available for private psychotherapy.

Share:

Link: (Here's how to do it ... )

To link to this article:

1. Copy the HTML link code shown in the box just below.
2. Paste this HTML code into your blog or web page, into a forum post or a blog comment you make, into your Facebook feed, etc.

<a href="http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=30719&w=10&cn=1">Overcoming School Anxiety: An Interview with Diane Peters Mayer</a>

Thank you!