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What Is Wrong With Me ?

Question:

I don’t care about anything at all anymore, my family, appearance, house, yard, animals … NOTHING. I feel NOTHING ! I can’t sleep very well if at all. I constantly feel sick to my stomach. I shake and cry all of the time and now I wake up, when I can sleep, feeling dizzy, sick, sweating and shaking like I had a nightmare but I didn’t.

Yes, my life is bad but I could always handle it before.  So, what has changed so much that I can’t function anymore? Am I just lazy, losing my mind or what? I have had thoughts of suicide lately and it is harder and harder to think of reasons why I shouldn’t do it and just let this life of hell be over. No one would even care.

I know that people that have a caring family can’t understand this. They assume that EVERYONE MUST HAVE SOMEONE THAT CARES ABOUT THEM… but it isn’t true because I have no one at all .

After 33yrs of marriage and devoting my life to my children, I have no one that cares … my husband is so wrapped up into the hook up sites that he barely acknowledges my existence and the kids, now grown up, blame me for everything that has gone wrong in their life . I stayed at home and did everything with and for my children and husband . It just hurts too much to continue writing this .

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Answer:

I am sorry that it is so painful for you to write this Email. Clearly, you are very depressed and should seek professional help so that you can find your way out of what must seem like a dark corner you are in. In effect, depression is what is wrong, at least that is my guess. However, it’s not that simple.

From the sound of it I am assuming that you do not have a happy marriage. It seems that your husband is so wrapped up in himself that he doesn’t notice the pain you are in. As far as children are concerned, they go about their own lives and often do not pay attention to what is happening with their parents. Of course, you could try talking to them, if you have not already done so.

In many respects you are experiencing the “empty nest.” Your children are grown and are probably out of the house. I assume that with thirty years of marriage behind you there are the issues of aging and quetions about what to do with the rest of your life.

I want to encourage you to seek help. The fact is that this is a time when your life could and should feel pretty good. However, like a lot of people, you are facing a life transition and it’s not easy. It’s even harder with feelings of emptiness, hopelessness and depression.

Seek help now. A good place to start is with your medical doctor. However, I want to urge you to not simply use anti depressant medication, which usually helps, but talk to a therapist as well, one that is expert in this type of life transition.

Best of Luck

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