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Advise Needed

Question:

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p>My son was in an accident 11/28, he was critically injured, The driver was not hur at all. HE was in ICU for almost 2 weeks where he had feeding tubes, surguries, he fought for his life.. My husband and I where there day in and day out praying for his recovery. As well as numerous others. Thank God He Survived…. He was released from the hopital the other day, I am caring for him until he gets well. HE is on a special diet, meds. Day by day he is getting stronger…He is recovering from his injuries, and his home for the holidays. Thank God… I am angry, because I was at work at the time of the accident, he was in a go cart, where apparently the steering failed.. There were two families available at the time. One parent saw the go cart go by, her son was not injured. They did not supervise, did not intervene for safety reasons. Example: Helmet, Seatbelt, safety. They other kid was not hurt. My son is recovering, we are recovering, Financially speaking we may never recover….The other parents involved are sympathetic, but sympothy will not help us now… I feel guilty for worrying about the finance portion of this nightmare, as we were uninsured.. We have gone through every avenue to get assistance.

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p>Right now, I am angry at the parents, that they did not prevent this, and that my son was injured. I am frustrated that my son has stay in bed and recover, while the other families are not affected at all. We are stuck with thier stupidity…

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p>Thank you for listening..

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p>Desperate parent…

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Answer:

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p>You and your family have been through a truly traumatizing event. It is fortunate that you son is recovering. However, you have identified a number of problems of great concern to parents with regard to the safety of their children.

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p>First, assuming your son is a child the question arises as to why he was able to drive a go-cart without adult supervision? Second, what went wrong with the steering in the go-cart and how was he allowed to drive it without a safety helmet and seat belt. Third, was he in the care of the other parents who were supervising their children or was he alone? Fourth, there is a very serious problem in the United States with regard to insurance. Because the nation does not have universal health insurance many families like yours are not protected by healthcare insurance. Lastly, your anger is very understandable.

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p>1. With both parents working, many children are left alone when they come home after school. The lack of supervision leaves many of these children vulnerable to just the type of accident that happened to your son. Most families are not able to afford after school care for children and it is essential that both parents work in order to pay bills and make ends meet. It is a difficult situation without any clear solution. Children who return home from school to empty homes because parents are working are referred to as “latch key children.”

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p>2. If the steering was malfunctioning in the go cart then it could be possible that you have a law suit against the go cart company responsible for the machine. However, this is a mental health site that focuses on psychology and not the law. You have the right to consult a lawyer and see if there is a case the successful result of which might just pay his medical expenses.

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p>3. Some parents make arrangements with neighbors to watch children along with their own until they come home. If that was the arrangement then the neighbor entrusted with his care should have seen to it what your son was wearing protective gear. However, if they were not entrusted with his care then they were not responsible.

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p>It is important to understand that even with full supervision and even if the family is at home and supervising, accidents can and will happen.

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p>4. Until then nation gets some type of universal healthcare insurance coverage many families must find a way to purchase and pay for health insurance on their own. It is true that it is expensive but their might be affordable group insurance for families such as your own. Be that as it may, most hospitals are willing to cooperate with families who find themselves in emergency situations and without health insurance. It is important to discuss the bills with the billing department of the hospital where your son was treated. Most hospitals are happy to work out a payment program with the family so that the health bills are slowly reduced. Hospitals do not like their bills being ignored. In cases where they are ignored they threaten to send the bills to a collection agency. It is always in the best interest of the hospital and patient to communicate with one another and find a payment plan that is suitable to the family and its financial status.

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p>Finally, your anger about the accident is very understandable. Many people react with something like: “why me” or “why did this happen to my family or my child.” In a situation like yours where no one else was hurt your reaction is predictable. Of course, there never is an answer to the “why me” question. A very fine book was written many years ago entitled “When Bad Things Happen to Good People.” Despite our best efforts to figure out the “why” of these things, there rarely is an answer. Most of us who go through this type of unfortunate accident swing back and forth between blaming others and blaming ourselves. In these situations, anger and guilt seem to co exist.

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p>The main idea to focus on is that your son is recovering. In light of this it is best to remember the old saying: “It could have been worse.”

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