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Am I Schizophrenic?

Question:

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia about a year and a half ago. I’m seventeen and recently had a best friend with schizophrenia commit suicide. I’m debating whether there’s really anything wrong with me that maybe it is all in my head. But there are many disturbing things. Maybe you could tell me if the things wrong with me I’m about to list are really symptoms of schizophrenia or if everyone is bothered the same way. I hear voices but a lot of times they sound as if it is my own conscience but says things that my mind isn’t thinking. But sometimes it sounds like a person sitting next to me or somebody I know. I developed a reasonable explanation though…I believe it is Satan trying to make me go crazy and God trying to pull me the other way. IS it possible that the voices can sound like your own? Everyday I wake up seeing this very vivid horror movie in my mind of everyone I love dieing in many ways. It’s terrifying! I can’t stop it with any sort of powered will. I also recently developed the fear of cameras in the restrooms and even in the toilets but everyone gets paranoid. Does schizophrenia make you think that you are sick all of the time too? Also, when I look in the mirror I see pimples all over my face that are not there or I see thinning hair that does not exist. I also, sometimes, lay awake at night thinking that whenever I wake up in the morning that there will be something really wrong with my body or even missing. Also, most of the time it seems as if someone made a voodoo doll of me or Satan is trying to get me to do things unwillingly. Many times I hold me hands together to make sure I don’t do what is planned for Satan or the enemy. Another thing, does schizophrenia have anything to do with social anxiety? When around anybody, I feel as though I am walking with my head tilted with everyone looking at me. Sometimes, and this has been going on since a small child, I’ll be sitting and then all of a sudden my heart will start bounding and it’s like a scary confusion in my head and I feel a presents like there is somebody behind me. I really feel a presents at this time! Also, many times I try to give a being important information, it seems as though it is stolen out of my mind because Satan doesn’t want them to know because I am the only one whom shall know this knowledge. Another thing, does schizophrenia make you raged and get “set off” at times? I mean like so rage things are almost uncontrollable. I also feel so fucking guilty all of the time! there are times when I can’t even eat in front of my parents because I feel so guilty that they bought the food and we are not even poor. If I am schizophrenic then how come there are no visual signs to people around me. My mom said that her commentary among all of this, which she doesn’t really know the half of it, she thinks it is a part of growing up. I feel many times as though I can’t handle society. Sorry to throw so many questions at you but I need to know answers because I don’t see my doctor that much. Do you think that these symptoms are part of schizophrenia or do you think that it could be just all in my head?

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Answer:

From what you have written here, I’d say it would seem likely that you do have a schizophrenic spectrum disorder such as schizophrenia. This is a chronic illness – not ‘just something in your head’. I say this for two reasons. First, because you have been previously diagnosed, presumably by a mental health doctor, and schizophrenia is what you were determined to have. Second, because the symptoms you are describing are a pretty good fit for what persons with paranoid schizophrenia experience. People who do not suffer from schizophrenic-type disorders almost never hear voices, almost never report possession experiences, almost never report thought insertion (having thoughts put into your head by an outside mind), thought broadcasting (where your thoughts are taken from your mind against your will) or command hallucinations (where voices push you to do things you don’t want to do). On the other hand, hearing voices, thought insertion, thought broadcasting and command hallucinations are pretty common amongst persons diagnosed with paranoid type schizophrenia. These symptoms can occur due to other causes (such as side-effects of drugs such as cocaine, crack or crystal methamphetamine) – but in these cases, although the starting point is different, the treatments are mostly the same.

<

p> Keep in mind that Schizophrenia is a spectrum disorder. There are mild forms of it and there are severe forms of it. Psychosis is not the everyday condition of schizophrenics – but rather something they fall into from time to time. Voices get louder on bad days and softer (or disappear) on good ones. You don’t have to be totally psychotic/crazy all the time to have schizophrenia.

<

p> Your mother may fail to see what is happening for a number of different reasons. She may not understand the nature of the illness and believe that if you were schizophrenic, you’d be completely incapacitated all the time (untrue). She may be in total denial – not prepared to accept reality as it is and instead making it into what she wants it to be. There may be other reasons as well. Who can say without meeting her and talking with her?

<

p> I’m hoping that you are under psychiatric care for your condition. It is really important that you get yourself under the care of a psychiatrist (if you aren’t already) so that you can be properly medicated. Medicines help a whole lot in controlling the symptoms. Some of the newer ones (like Zyprexa) seem to be particularly good for many people, producing fewer side effects than earlier generation medicines. It is also very important that you stay away (far away) from any and all drugs or alcohol. I’ve seen too many addict schizophrenics in my day – there is a terrible temptation to self-medicate with alcohol or cocaine, or something like that – but what ends up happening is that you get sicker and sicker instead. Drugs will further mess up your likely already fragile brain. You don’t need that right now.

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Comments
  • Anonymous-1

    Hello

    I just wanted to ask the DR a question, my son is 24 years old, he lives in down town LA, Ca, in a half way house for the mentally ill, i feel so guilty for not letting him live with me, but to tell you the truth i am afraid of him.

    He is chronic Schizophrenic, he is always on drugs, he will pan handle for money to get them. When i try to help him, he just tells me he is not sick and i am the one with the problem. I have been fighting this battle with him for the last 8 years, he has been hospitalized at least 30 times if not more, if we bring him home, he will knock on other peoples doors asking for drugs.....i could go on and on about him, i love him so much, he is a good person inside!!!! He is just not always him. I have been to counseling myself, but i cant stop feeling guilty.....im not sure what he is capable of doing, he has ripped the heads off of cats before......i do call him at least 3 times a week, but sometimes he is so messed up, i cant understand him, he will talk in another voice and also talk in some other language. I dont know, i guess i just want someone to tell me what to do. I feel so hopeless..........

  • Max

    It is my experience that drugs will exacerbate any pre-existing condition. He's probably so out of control (literally) of his body that all kinds of negative energy (and entities) are taking him over.

    He needs to be medicated and hospitalized... and I recommend calling a priest. An exorcism probably isn't a bad idea.

  • Scott Walker

    i just read your question and think it is a very good one because i also have identical problems, exept most of mine are very voilent, like when i am angry within a split second i get an adrenaline rush, and uncontrolable anount of anger, i hear voices telling me to do voilent things to people (or the person that made me angry) and loose control so much that all i can do is watch as my body feels like it is getting taken over by a beast or demon which is out of my power to control, i have also been very paranoid about people around me even if theres noone there i feel as if there is someone watchin me all the time, as a case of this i have become very either unsafe or unsurtian around me even if there friends, its like wen i walk into someplace like a busy building of some sort of busy place, i will have a look around me being very nervous and paranoid that something will happen, in a result of this I have become very scared of myself due to the anger. I have not as yet been told if theres anything wrong with my or anything but i know its not normal for someone to react like that, i have got an appointment with my GP about this subject and to hear what he has to say about it. I would be gratefull for any feed back on this subject can you please e-mail me on shocker_6842@hotmail.com.

    Thank you for your time and i hope i can get an awnser to all this. =]

  • Shawn

    I do have the intense paranoia, like I KNOW someone is watching me, but I consider my illness, I feel like a puppet, moving to the will of a greater power, but I only use that to blame a greater being for the things I do wrong, I feel guilty all the time like I did something bad but I never really do. I dont even feel at peace in my own room, constantly thinking of what other people think about me and if theyre talking about me. but I do have my moments where I accept the paranoia and move past it, embarassing myself in the process. I accept the huge possibility that I am shizophrenic. but it is mild because I feel able to control it, especially with anti-anxiety mediction. I become more active when I fight it, I become wired and excited to be around other people, like a positive energy, and people accept it and love it about me. I just do what comes naturally to my mind and it calms the stress of who and whats watching you / thinking of you, when you seem to just not care. I still cant fight the fact that I do care, but when it gets to be too much, I need to get out of the house and hang out with some people. Socialize, even if I don't say but two words within four hours, at least I'm giving myself a fighting chance to feel normal. I also get intense migraines when symptoms seemingly get worse, my schizophrenia says its because I fight it. I say it's just something else to live with.

  • Anonymous-2

    im 14 and i started surfing and read other people's stories and many parts sound really familiar. i am currently in counciling but i dont feel like i can trust her. with my father in the other room i always freak out he can hear me and he is going to be angry with me for saying anything. i dont know exactly how to explain it either. i guess ill start when it all sort of started. i have always had a really low self essteam and thought people are always judging me but it really started to get worse the past year or so. for quite a while i suffered from anirexia and i dont think i ever really got over it but i put on a smile and dont ever let anyone know even a hint of what i think. around a year ago i started having panic attacks regularly and developed asthma. i also started having really intense migrains about 3 times a week and thats when i started to hear people whispering my name. then i started hearing demonic voices and my anger started to get more and more out of control. i went through a bad relationship and i started cutting. and the anger got incredibly bad. i cam very close to breaking my right hand because my friend forgot to ask her mom if i could stay the nite. when things happen it starts to build in my head and i start to get more upset and angrier and i start to tremble and my body shakes and i feel kind of like im in a dream like its not really happening and i get afraid of myself. my dad tries to help me but it makes it worse b/c i have to try to control my anger but its extreamly hard and i make him leave. i got really upset about something once and first i cried and then the anger came and i souldnt breath and i started choking and i had to get my inhaler b/c i later found out i enduced an asthma attack. sometimes i hear noises from things in my past that i have done or things that have happened to me and it becomes incredibly difficult to hear anything or concentrait on what im doing. one nite i had a dream i was being raped by the devil and then i woke up and saw hiim standing at the foot of my bed and he said my name an i was so scared i couldn't move and then i blinked once and it was gone. i feel like things are getting ultimatly worse and more extream and my depression is getting out of hand as well. i dont think i could ever tell anyone this but since this is annonymous and everything i decided to spill because i know its not gnna get any better. also i have horrible abandoment issues as well as trust issues that make me hard to even be around people i havn't known for a while. another thing is that i had an ulcer quite a while ago and i think it has come back because everything sets me off emotionaly. i really dont feel safe being around people i dont know and dont trust because if i ever hurt anyone i would hate myself more then i already do.

  • Sarah

    I've read several of these comments. When I had a spell of psychosis, I was not violent, but I was severely paranoid and delusional. I've only heard voices of one line, and I've only hallucinated a little bit. It's minor, but it's still schizophrenia. You sound like you're in a similar boat where you aren't sure if turning yourself in is worth the risks or if you even really have an illness or merely a stress induced psychosis. The fact that you realize that you have a problem and think it might be bad could be hinting towards something, however. I thought it was a gift at first...

  • Anonymous-3

    Hi,

    You are not schizophrenic, you have a disorder called Schizophrenia.

    Violence and schizophrenia are almost always associated with drug and alcohol abuse.

  • Anonymous-4

    I'm schizophrenic and I have 5 kids i'm 29 and been told i was, since i was 12 i hear voices and pictures in my head I hate to be outside with people and when my husband is even 10 min late I cant help but to worry and cry and puke like something happened to him untill i see him my kids don't go very far from myside and i get angree very quickly then stay away from me people say i do and say bad things but i never remember. My kids are proberly the only ones safe with me i cant afford to keep seeing a doctor but i cant take the medicine its Seroquel 800mg and anafaril 50MG AND Trazodone 200mg it dosent work what else can I do to stay calm and be able to live again.

  • Anonymous-5

    ok this is my first time writing on one of these sites but the psych that im seeing is a f*ckin tool...and i need some answers.

    1the biggest problem is that i fel things r not real and that things are not really happening, its very hard to explain but i just feel like im in this world that i have dreamt up and controll... except the hardest is part that i dont controll myself(as in i feel like im a step back from my body kinda looking at myself and whats happenin through a screen and i dont feel like its me talking although i choose the words it doesnt feel or sound like thats me..) its really really disturbing and i feel totally powerless over it. whats more i remeber every singlething about my dreams the previous night n they i dont feel fucked up in my dreams the way i do when im awake....its like two entirely separate worlds

    2i get really worried bout what people think of me but to the paranoid state where im convinced they r bitching. i also analyse eversingle thing i d n then get paranoid ver whether or not someone has realised me do that n are judging me for it. i do this constantly and end p in an awful state wonderin about it

    2i have the same reoccurin voice that comes out with the most random words or short sentnces (and they r not particlulary evil bar one or two exceptions), itsalways the exact same women and feels like she is speaking through megaphone its seriously loud. this will most often happen when i am alone

    3i hav to sleep with my back pressedup to a wall and there can be no gaps between me and the covers because i feel like ther is someone behind and i have tyo curl up again with no gaps in the covers because that same someone will mmight try to grab my feet or anypart of me that is not covered. i also see wierd shapes on the wall but they r not anythin concerete just wierd and sometimes when i close my eyes i see real scarylooking faces that want to kill me but this is not that often

    4i have the concenration of a drowning flee... i cant take in anything thats over two minutes long, then i drift off and drift back in ere and there...

    5im not too sure hether to say this but before i do, i not a murder or killer... but sometimes i do be walking down the street or sitti behind someone on the bus type thing and i just want to rip their heads off and starts imagine how it sounds to snap their neck. it really freaks me out and i end up dashin into a shop to stop seeing that person or gettin off the bus....this particluary happens with children n it scares thecrap out ofme n makes me feel awful because i know i would geneuinly never do it. (n no its not the devil telling me this)

    6i drift off into these mad daydreams that make no sense whatsoever n are nt related to anything in my life and ill be there dreaming for hours n hours before i realise it.

    7when im feeling ok im loads of fun n hve lads of mates, when im not feelin ok i wont talk to anyone n just lock mysel up for days (the longest period being three weeks) where ibarely eat and focus on bis of the wall makin little patterns in my head ....

    ANYONE GOT A ANSWER FOR ALL THAT???

  • Julie

    Schizophrenia is one of the most "heart breaking" diseases one can have. There is no cure. I understand you "guilt" I have a sister with Schizophrenia. Its horrible. One minute she is trying to be my best friend te next she is accusing me of being a part of a consperacy trying to hurt her. She has been hospitalized more times than I can count. Our parents live near by. She lives in an apartment where people get assistance. My parents visit her all the time expect me to help regularly. I wish they would get her into a home. It would help her to have people to talk to on a rgular basis and us to live a more normal life.

  • Accept yourself

    For the teenagers posting, I think it's normal for people of your age to think violent thoughts sometimes. When I was fourteen, I was so angry: at the other kids for not accepting me at my parents for turning me into such a tool. I would often have violent thoughts and dreams that I could never express.

    My younger brother is now sixteen, and he reports having exactly the same issues (though he was always more popular than I was). But both of us passed through that phase. Importantly, my father and some of my friends also said that it was something they had gone through. Adolescence is a difficult and confusing time that you can't really appreciate until you've experienced it.

    I could be wrong, of course, and it's possible that there is something not quite right about the people I know and myself. Or perhaps it is the age we live in. However, surfing the internet when you're worried about having a mental illness is probably the second-worst course of action (after doing nothing). If you're concerned, see a Doctor you can trust. They'll either find a way to help you, or put your mind at ease.

  • jenna

    ok i am only 13 but obsessed w/ schizophrenia. plz e-mail me all about what happens to you (i am wrtiting a book on schizophrenia) it is normal to see and feel things that are not there. around crowds schizophrenics tend to get paranoid. Thinking everyone is trying to 'get you'. Type into google one man's blog-a schizophrenic bus ride. click on the first result and then scroll dow to see a short video on schizophrenia. if you want to know more please go to my webiste : www.jennathoughtsproductions.wetpaint.com to see more (click on the page titled schizophrenic thoughts.) ok PLEASE e-mail me about what is happening so i have a better idea. thank you so much-jenna-

  • Anonymous-6

    Hello im a 13 going on 14 year old boy, and I want to know if im crazy. I have thoughts about killing people, just about a month ago I had a dream that I went up to my brother and stabed him in the face till he died, and i dont even hate him we get along well. Plus when I was a little kid I was very violent, I used to get in alot of fights with anyone that made me mad. But my parents tought me not to do that, now that im older im very parariod and think that everyone watches me do everything and can read my thoughts. I cant even take a piss a school because I think that my class is watching me, sometimes I hear people talking to me that arnt even there. I first hear a loud ringing noise like somone is tuning into my head then I start hearing voices. I try telling my self that it isnt real but it tells me to kill people or do bad stuff, so I just go play violent videogames to trick my mind and then it goes away. My parents and brother say I talk to my self sometime and I dont even realise that im talking. Sometimes I get confused because when its real quiet and then gets real loud agian but in the quitness I thought that I was hearing voices like my own vocie talking loud right next to me. Im not religious at all and my family does not really like that at all so they dont really talk to me much, im like a loner. PLEASE HELP I dont know what to do!!!!!

    Dr. Dombeck's Note: It would be a good idea to tell a doctor about the voices. A psychiatrist would be the best sort to talk about it with, but if that would be hard to arrange, then telling any medical doctor or nurse (such as a school nurse), or school counselor would be the next best bet. Hearing voices like this, combined with the sense that others can read your thoughts strongly does suggest that something along the lines of schizophrenia may be occurring. There are medicines that can help damp down voices like this, but they cannot become available to you until it becomes clear to a psychiatrist that they are appropriate.

  • Anonymous-7

    Alright, so i am 17 years old and for the past year i have had these really random pannic attacks followed by short bursts of depersonalization. for those of you who dont know what that is, its when you feel as though you are dreaming even though you know you arent. about three weeks ago i had the worst pannic attack i have ever had and since then i have been feeling like im dreaming non stop. on top of that it has become increasingly hard for me to concentrate on anything and random thoughts that make absolutely no sense run through my head. Another thing that has been bothering me is the fact that my memory has been getting worse ad worse and sometimes i cant even tell whether i did something or just thought about doing it. i have been doing alot of reading and discovered that most of these symptoms are common in schizophrenic teens. im desprate to return to my old self. what should i do??

  • mohul

    hi. i was diagnosed with schizophrenia 2 yrs back. this was after i had a mental attack. i had started hallucinating, and i developed fake beliefs about the existense of another world.i moved away from people. i was put into rehab with heavy medication for a month. i went home after that.i recvered very well and i continued with reduced medicine for a year and a half. i met a lot of schizophrenics during his duration, i felt and was told that i was very different from all of them. i was in a better condition.i think i am not schizophrenic, so i have stopped taking medicine from the past 4 months.and i seen to be doing fine. i meditate everyday for one hour, which includes some breathing excercises i was taught in an "art of living' course i attended.This has helped me a lot. i still have problems thinking, and i have observerd that a talk to myself in my mind all the time, something like a split personality.this is bothering me. let me reveal that i was one drugs(hashish) for one year..about 3 years back.however, now, i don't even smoke. i am very confused if i am schizophrenic or not.

    the medicine used to make me slow, drowsy and i used to feel very little emotion. but now i and handling a job, even without medicine.please mail me with your opinion.i would appreciate it.

    I am 20 years old. My email: mohul@live.in

    mohulk@gmail.com

    Thank you very much.

  • Anonymous-8

    I have always had hallucinations but I wanted to be normal so I never told anyone in my family about them.

    I moved in with my grandmother recently to help care for her when she had surgery. She's been in rehab so I've been living her condo alone taking care of her dog.

    These past few weeks, have felt like I am living in a nightmare. I'm constantly seeing shadow figures in the corner of my eye or in random places, jumping at the slightest abnormal movement and I am constantly feeling like I'm being watched. I keep a steak-knife by my bed because I keep having this feeling everytime I close my eyes that someone is hovering over me.

    It's too the point I have to stay awake until my body is so tired, I just fall asleep without relaxing and closing my eyes. Then I have to get up early and go to my class and work.

    I just want to be normal, but there is no reason that I should be feeling like this.

    Have I finally lost it?

  • anonymous

    Hi everyone, I was hoping that from the answers from others and mainly the doctors, would tell me if I need to be observed or treated as I fell I possess a form of Schizophrenia. I am a 17 year old boy studying A levels. I am a very quiet person in life, I like to be reserved and do not feel very confident when with other people or society in general. I dont hear certain voices or see things that arent there but I feel other major things convince me and depress me about who I am and I feel Im a failure. I feel as I have a very strange mind because of thoughts not making sense as they stay unresolved with me and I dont tell anyone. Studying Psychology AS level and researching Schizophrenia made me aware of myself and I started to realise symptoms and actions of a Schizophrenic. A lot of my friends say Im random but not in the sense they clearly see Im a Schizophrenic. No one has ever said or felt Im a Schizophrenic but me in guilt. If I am a Schizophrenic why havent society seen this is in me? I have very starnge thinking because it mixes in with me being a Muslim who prays and has to deal with conscience of whats 'Halal' and 'Haram' in Islam such as drinking and smoking and girls etc.

    Examples of me are when Im in society, I feel unsafe and alone but do not go crazy with illussions and stuff, but all these thoughts are in my head. My favourite films seemed to be psychological- treatment based films before I was even aware that it is involving a bit like my life. Those films are One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest because of a Mental Institution and A Clockwork Orange because of the personality of Alex changing. I have read the books of these and researched them and it has influenced me to write my own books where I like to involve the ideas into my own stories about the world. When I write my books, I do not write about me in particular, I like to think of another person or wish to be that person and write about a life.

    If I THINK Im a Schizophrenic doesnt that make me a strange person or something wrong with me? I have a poor lack of hygiene and health. Over the years I have developed a bit of vitiligo on my neck and it is spreading slightly, I have boils and acne on my shoulders that have reduced but still stay there. When I eat I cant control myself if at home, at home I eat alot becuase I think I have a big appetite. But when Im at college I am very nervous to eat in front of people I dont know, I always think someone is watching me eat oir staring at me because I cannot chew properly or something just in my mind annoying me. I have started to hate individuals and society in general although I dont go out alot and try to with others not aone. I play Cricket a lot with my friends and family but when alone I feel as if I have a lot of responsibility. I also have developed and noticed I have a foot Fetish. When I was 16 I started to notice thats when I liked women's feet and masturbate and fantasise about it. It really puts me in guilt because Im ashamed that I have a fetish and all this in me is dveloping in me , why me? I also get strnge thoughts some times and feel like crying or slapping myself, for example when I see a little girl running to her mum I see on the way she is killed by a psycho or hit. Sometimes with my own family this happens I see things differently in my mind not on the outside as a Illusion. I believe there are many things I may not state about my life as this is written not yet talked about in front of a psychiatrist. I have always been a shy and quiet person and have a delusion there is something wrong with my fate and that society dont like me. I try to be very careful about what I wear and how I look on the way to college and on the bus. I think a lot and do less talking than others. I feel I have an inexplicable ming maybe factitious disorder in me. I've always felt there is something strange about me right from the start. Over my life I am very judgemental and critical of others, I believe I am being punished for these actions by god and now others have indirectly started to hate me or tried to play mind games with me to control me. I feel as if its a matter of time before Im a complete failure. Sometimes I feel suicidal as if why me why me, I hate the world and hate reality, I prefer to develop new ideas and things others dont asin my books. Even before college, High school life was also boring and I felt I wasnt normal. I never had a girlfriend and get thoughts about having one but dont. Sometimes I notice myself when I speak I lose my words or speak in a disorganised manner. I always feel when people dont agree with me they are against me and try to manipulate me. I also like the Japanese Manga- Anime- Film DEATH NOTE. I also love the Nadsat language in a Clockwork Orange and use words like horrorshow and rassoodock as cliches. I am 17 and feel I need to stop being depressed about myself and always worried if Im good looking or not, if people hate me but Im lazy aswell as athletic. I also try to avoid eye contact or if I try to do it appopraitely I feel the person is looking me face to face in a hated manner as if Im a person in society who always sticks out as a strange person, especially in college. My emotions and thought really disturb my life because I think thought very strangely and thoughts of people being kkilled or me wishing that guy was my brother and that girl was my sister or wishing I was spanish and so many things. I dont like my identitiy as it is, I fantasise about different lives of me, with new people and its starting to come out as fantasies i write in my own books. I dont have a lot of motivation but I feel I need to be aware of my health and if I am or think, why am I thinking Im a Schziophrenic?

    Im sorry I have written a lot but thats just me sometimes a random person only consistent in negativity.

  • Alicen

    i dont hear voices but i sometimes mutter things to myself absentmindedly and instead of thinking that im hearing the voice of "satan" [i am an athiest] i have seen the shadow of a man and he could control my body and my mind when i was in my room trying to sleep, i sometimes felt as if my soul was being raped, i no longer see him but i constantly have a lingering presence hanging over my should which scares me constantly if i hear a tiny creak outside my bedroom door, my anxiety attacks come with heat and i have to honstantly be moving to the point i can barely control it and its almost automatic, recently i have actually tried to develope a separate personality durring these attacks in order to free those emotions and it has worked but ive found myself laughing for no reason especially durring unsettling news and crying durring certain parts of intimacy such as kissing my boyfriend, i'm only fourteen and i know i'm going insane, i have no friends that i can talk to about this, its as if i'm three totally different people: social, depressed and anxious/violent, i can almost feel these personalities splitting apart, i know im going insane and i dont want help, maybe we're all going through the same thing...

  • Anonymous-9

    ok, i see a very strong resemblance in almost every one of these comments. I to feel im schitzophrenic. im basically battling my mind because i feel like im half schitzo and half normal. i am very skiddish about talking to girls and even my "friends" sometimes. i quote friends because they never wanted to hang out with me unless i had money. in that case id spend it all on weed or pills. im clean today but its only been 2 months and thats from alchohal weed and mostly benzodiazapam related pills. i think everyone is looking at me when im in public regardless of where it is. i feel like everyone i know thinks im schitzophrenic. my facial features become more defined, and my eyes get heavy and it feels like theres a worm crawling around under them. i thik every time someone itches there eye/nose/head, or checks there watch, or sneases/yawns that there doing it to test me, to see if im schitzophrenic. sometimes i even think my dogs or cats are testing me. i know that im just being stupid but it just wont stick and it hits me every day. i dont hallucinate, i dont hear things, and thought insertion or anywhere around those lines have never happened to me. i have 0 self confidence and i think wenever i talk to a girl she thinks im nuts and she to then starts to "test" me. i would really love to know what the hell is happening to me. im 18 years old gunna be 19 in 19 days lol. if someone would be kind enough to share me there story or give me advice to stop this madness PLEASE E-MAIL ME italianpriv01@aim.com. thank you!

  • Anonymous-10

    so does havin a conversation with yourself in your head schitzo or just rationalizing to yourself? sometimes when i contemplate i tell myself wtf were u thinking ur so fn stupid..or sometimes i write things down or say stuff and i dont remember..i really think that its my subconcsious mind telling me that im really stressed n just need to take a break..but i do know that at times i get really impatient and upset and i cant stand being around other people..when im around loads of ppl i feel like they are irritating me n get annoyed and then get into arguments with ppl or im really rude to them..wat the hell is wrong with me

  • Anonymous-11

    i never really considered i may possibly have schitz but the more i read up on stuff, the more 'im beginning to wonder.

    Symptoms:

    + The voices are the WORST but they sound like my own thoughts but i can't control them. This thing inside my head is so loud. It's like i have two sides of me (i'm a 22 y/o woman btw), the part that wants me to die (this 'voice' in my head urges/tempts this guy to slit my throat but i can never see the guy cause he wears a hood so i can't see his face but he doesn't exist. Like, this killer is apart of me. i have lived with it since i was younger and when i role-play this particular murder scene with my boyfriend (he has murder fantasies, so he is cool playing it out with me), the 'voice' screams at him to kill me, and i can't make it shut up. ASIDE FROM THESE TWO, I ALSO GET SEVERE SCREECHING/ringing that i hear in my head, usually followed by debilitating headaches.

    + THE PARANOIA IS JUST as debilitating. For years, i have torn my house apart looking for camera's i swear people have planted in the rooms. I was so paranoid about camera's in my bathroom, that when i was about 15, i took all the lights out looking for screens. I would also take showers in the dark so i couldn't be seen by them. I feel like there are people watching me through the camera in my laptop as well. Sometimes i will cover it to make sure no one can watch me.....Another constant paranoia is people reading my thoughts and hearing what the "voice" inside my head is saying. I'm scared that people will think i'm a killer (he isn't who i am, he tries to possess people to take my life though....like role-playing my death with my b/f, everytime he puts the knife to my throat, this 'guy' inside me becomes over excited by it and begs my b/f to do it.....). I constantly feel like the people in the pictures on my bedroom wall are watching and listening to everything i'm saying.

    + Hallucinations: these are as much of a burden to me. I just see shadows moving across my bedroom cieling at night, shadows running by the windows during the day, and the scariest hallucination i saw was when i was driving home from college, this shadowed figure with a dark hood appeared beside me in the passengers seat. It slowly turned it's head to look at me and vanished. I had to pull over and catch my breath.

    -------------

    what does this sound like? I'm still questioning what it is and don't want to say schitz per se, but just curious i guess.....i just want to know what's wrong with me, i've had some friends say i should probably go talk to a psychiatrist. Even though i'm extremely nervous all the time, i'm also very, veyr social and have a lot of friends but lately, i haven't hung out with a lot of them because of how crippling this is becoming for me. I just feel like i'm losing my mind, help??

  • Anonymous-12

    I don't know what is wrong with me. I'm seventeen, and I haven't been to a psychiatrist so he/she could tell me about this. I don't know what I have or if I have anything at all. I sometimes hear voices in my head telling me to kill others and myself, ever since I was very young.And in terms of killing others, I've wanted to do it and give in to the voices and let then take over. But they also make me hate myself. Over stupid situations, like asking if someone worked at a store I was in, I get angst-y and awkward and I hated myself when he looked at me with an obvious face even though he was just joking around and when I left the store, I started choking myself and talking to myself, saying I'm stupid and a pathetic moron because it was so obvious that he worked there, then I start to pinch at my veins and scratch myself hard enough to bleed. I keep thinking that there are cameras everywhere and when someone laughs I think its at me. I think my dog can "report" back to my family. I always feel like someone can read my mind. When I get awkward (like in the store situation) my field of vision gets fuzzed up around the edges and my peripheral vision drops so I bump into people making me feel worse. In terms of delusions, I don't have any that I'm aware of, but I don't believe in anything. I always have this train of thought that nothing is real that we are nothing. Or that my reality doesn't cohere with anyone else's and we all live in our own "illusions." And the temptation the "voice" offers me , seems so real, so easy, it tells me not to do it yet because I'm not smart enough, which I believe is dead true.

    Dr. Dombeck's Note: These are symptoms consistent with the paranoid variety of schizophrenia or some similar "psychotic" condition. I urge you to see a psychiatrist at the first opportunity you can so that you can be properly diagnosed and (more importantly) so that you can receive treatment which may reduce the voices. This is especially important in that your voices urge you to harm others a very dangerous situation.

  • Anonymous-13

    Alright i do not hear voices i do not get hallucinations (but ive had before on magic mushrooms.... and MDma) how ever this winter sometime im outside (sober) and feel like a hear a little iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii sound or what ever but i live in a city and like it could be because of houses im near of i dont experience such things inside my house im very social and one of my uncle is schizo... i pretty much stopped drugs but since ive known the illness ive always been scared of having it could being scared of being schizo acctuly be a form of schizophrenia since i started thinking this i started getting really paranoid but never really had anything to prove im schizo... i talk to my self but like ive been doing this since i was 7 like if i drop something i go like f*ck gotta pick it up and then i can say my self like get this grab that ... yeah thats pretty much it i honestly think im just paranoing but yeah...

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