Question:
I am trying to do what is right for myself and another. I am a 47 year old man who has been on his own for many years after some bitter disappointments with women. Recently I came into contact with a lovely woman with whom I clicked instantly. We have been on the phone nightly for hours at a time; this hasn’t happened to me for years. Now for the catch – she is 29 years old, but with wisdom and maturity far beyond her years. She, understandably, wants a family as she has just wasted 8 years in a bad relationship, I have a 16 year old and do not care to start again. Am I doing this woman and myself harm by wasting our time? We click incredibly, but are in two entirely different phases of life. I have been honest, but am conflicted as to the possibilities.
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Answer:
First of all, you have to decide what you want. If you are 100% certain that you do not want to start another family, then you must tell her. Be straightforward with her. One of your late night phone conversations will provide the perfect opportunity for letting her know how you feel. Many people find it less difficult disclosing their true feelings and thoughts over the phone – especially during those long, intimate conversations. Once you have told her about your feelings, then you can stop worrying. It will then be up to her to make the next move. There is a possibility that you are overestimating her desire to have children. Either way, I’m sure she will greatly appreciate your honesty. Best of luck to you, – Anne
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