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An Empty Feeling

Question:

I am an 18 year-old female who has been having homosexual feelings towards other girls. Now I know how I feel about girls, and I am ready to accept those feelings and desires, however I am confused as to how I feel about guys. When I go out with guys I think that I like them, but the feeling goes away very quickly…it’s like there is nothing there at all. I have noticed this when I get intimate with guys. I feel very empty and I lose interest very quickly….why is that?

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
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Answer:

Many people go through a part of their life when they are questioning and accepting their sexuality, regardless of what that sexuality may be. It is natural to have feelings of sexual attraction towards members of the same sex. Are you sexually attracted to the men you date or do you like them because they are interesting people? The lack of emotion you feel when involved with men is not rare either, it could be the you have not found the “right” guy yet, but also it could be that you simply are not attracted to men . If there is a particular girl you are interested in who also happens to be interested in you, try exploring your feelings with her. Sexuality is not a black and white issue and a “natural” sexuality involves questioning and experimenting with different things until you find what is right for you. Sincerely, – Anne

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