I have been dating a man for about 6 months. The relationship was doing good until recently. We share a computer and lately some very disturbing pictures have been coming on the screen. Pictures of males having sex, and these pictures are very graphic. I have children in the home and am a loss for what to do. He swears that he is not gay, but I think he might be a bi-sexual. How do I confront him about this, and disentangle myself from the relationship? He is a wonderful guy and treats me well, but these recent discoveries are making me think twice. HELP.Ad
- ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
- ‘Anne’, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. ‘Anne’ and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
It seems to be there are really several issues here: 1) whether or not you want to continue to date this man, 2) whether or not you can accept his sexuality (whatever form it takes), and 3) what you need to do to protect your children from these images. You don’t need to confront him about anything if disentangling yourself from the relationship is want to accomplish. Just tell him that things aren’t working out for you, and you don’t want to date any more. Then clean up the disk drive to remove all offending pictures. If you think, however, that this relationship might be salvageable then you can tell him kindly but directly (assertively) that you are offended by the pictures he is viewing, that they compromise your children and that he needs to not view or store them on your computer if the relationship is to continue. See what he says (and does over time) about this. People can change if they are motivated to do so. As to whether you can’t date him if he is gay or bisexual – well – only you can answer that. That is basically just up to what you can deal with and what you can’t. You are allowed to have whatever feelings you have about the matter.
Designed to Help You Feel Better Daily
Download Now For Free