Question:
I lived with my bipolar girlfriend for 10 months. She told me I was the best man she ever had and would never leave me. She had many rages, though, at supermarkets, in the car, etc.
One day, out of a clear blue sky, she said that I have to leave and have three months to get out. I told her that, “if you feel that way I am leaving now,” and I did. Since that time she has stopped answering my phone calls and emails, went to a counselor. The counselor told me that she was in a mixed phase.
AdIs there any chance she will be back and how long will it take?
Ad
- Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
- Dr. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Schwartz to people submitting questions.
- Dr. Schwartz, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Schwartz and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
Ad
Ad
Answer:
Alas, my dear sir, there is no way I can answer your question. While I have wished for a crystal ball all of these years, I have not yet come across one that really works. Please do not take offense, I am just joking, except for one thing: I really wish I can answer your question.
In my opinion, there is no point in waiting around on the hope that she just might return to you. She abruptly ended the relationship, refused to take your phone calls or emails and never gave you an explanation for her behavior. We can speculate about why she severed her connection with you but we will never figure it out.
Ad
It’s easy to assume that her change of heart is related to her mental illness. That may or may not be true. I am assuming that the counselor you spoke with is your own because her’s would never speak with you because of confidentiality. Perhaps she reacted this way because of a mixed phase or because of something totally different.
While breaking up is always painful, especially when it is as sudden as in this case, it is still important for your mental health to move on and find a more satisfying relationship without all of the emotional drama.
Therapists are Standing By to Treat Your Depression, Anxiety or Other Mental Health Needs
Ad
Again, I can only suggest and urge you to put this behind you and look for “greener pastures.”
Best of Luck.
Ad
More "Ask Dr. Schwartz" View Columnists
Ad
Ad
Ad
Ad
