Boyfriend Talks Dirty


My problem is my boyfriend of 2 years whom i love deeply 9 times out of 10 when we make love talks dirty to me. i can’t seem to tell him to stop and quite honestly it bothers me. i have no complaints in any other department because he is a wonderful man. help in Canada.

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
  • Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
  • ‘Anne’, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. ‘Anne’ and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

There is no way for your boyfriend to know that you don’t like dirty talk if you don’t come out and tell him. There are no mind readers out there, to my knowledge. Also, many men are not all that good at picking up on subtle body language clues that would inform a more socially astute sort of person that you were suddenly uncomfortable. They are especially bad at picking up on clues when they are on the verge of orgasm and therefore kinda wrapped up in their own thoughts. So, essentially you have to come out and tell him what you like and don’t like. You can and should do this some some sensitivity, because he is likely to feel a little foolish when he realizes that he’s been making you uncomfortable for a while. You ought to own up to the fact that you didn’t tell him and that prolonged the situation (e.g., it wasn’t all his fault because you didn’t do your part and give him feedback until now). Doing that might help ease the embarrassment he may feel. But even if he is embarrassed, it shouldn’t be long lasting. Don’t make a mountain out of this molehill. This sort of thing just isn’t that big of a deal really in the scheme of things. Just tell him what you like and don’t like and get on with it.

More "Ask Anne" View Columnists

Myndfulness App

Designed to Help You Feel Better Daily

Myndfuless App Rating

Download Now For Free

Learn More >