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Boyfriend Talks Dirty

Question:

My problem is my boyfriend of 2 years whom i love deeply 9 times out of 10 when we make love talks dirty to me. i can’t seem to tell him to stop and quite honestly it bothers me. i have no complaints in any other department because he is a wonderful man. help in Canada.

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  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
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Answer:

There is no way for your boyfriend to know that you don’t like dirty talk if you don’t come out and tell him. There are no mind readers out there, to my knowledge. Also, many men are not all that good at picking up on subtle body language clues that would inform a more socially astute sort of person that you were suddenly uncomfortable. They are especially bad at picking up on clues when they are on the verge of orgasm and therefore kinda wrapped up in their own thoughts. So, essentially you have to come out and tell him what you like and don’t like. You can and should do this some some sensitivity, because he is likely to feel a little foolish when he realizes that he’s been making you uncomfortable for a while. You ought to own up to the fact that you didn’t tell him and that prolonged the situation (e.g., it wasn’t all his fault because you didn’t do your part and give him feedback until now). Doing that might help ease the embarrassment he may feel. But even if he is embarrassed, it shouldn’t be long lasting. Don’t make a mountain out of this molehill. This sort of thing just isn’t that big of a deal really in the scheme of things. Just tell him what you like and don’t like and get on with it.

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