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Cruel Friend


My only problem in life is my best friend. She is a girl, and every time i intend to leave her when i feel i have had enough with her, she gets hysterical, and she acts in such a way that surprises me like begging me to stay and promises she never kept like :”I’ll never act this way again, Please i love you .. nobody cared for me like you did” That’s very brief, the only problem is that i don’t know how to act with her. The more i get cruel the more she gets absurd !

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It’s entirely possible that your friend feels dependent on you – that she derives some of her feelings of self-esteem through her association with you. You’ve perhaps become for this girl part of the stuff in her world that props her up and allows her to feel safe and able to function. If her foundations are disturbed, she becomes upset and threatened. Hence her hysterical reaction. When this type of behavior is very severe and widespread in a person’s life, that person can be considered to have a dependent personality, a dependent personality disorder, or even what is known as borderline personality disorder (which is characterized by severe fears of abandonment, amongst other key symptoms).


p> While your friend may have a bit of an insecurity problem, your own urge to be cruel in the face of her insecurity suggests that you have your own serious problems to deal with. Your lack of compassion for your friend’s suffering seems a bit sadistic and sick to me actually. We all enjoy a little ‘schadenfreude’ now and then (a German language word for taking pleasure in the misfortune of others), but there is something sadistic about habitually treating one’s friends in this manner. Hopefully you’ll grow out of this phase and become a little more humble and a little more kind as you get older.

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