Anxious And Depressed Son


My 20 year old son is very depressed and anxious. He has no friends and feels he cannot connect with anyone. He feels he is different from everyone else and will never have a meaningful connection with anyone. He refuses medication, despite a strong family history of depression, and refuses to see a counselor because he’s seen several in the past and feels they do not help him. Help!!

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The fact that your son has been to several counselors in the past does not mean he ever got the correct diagnosis. It seems as though his primary problem is depression and anxiety, and that could be true, but, there are other possibilities. These range from Aspergers Syndrom to  Avoidant Personality Disorder and even Bipolar Disorder is a possibility. He needs an assessment done by a Clinical Psychologist or Psychiatrist. I have no way of knowing but I have a hunch, based on what you have written, that he was never properly assessed and diagnosed. This may be the reason why he feels hopeless about psychotherapy. Much like the rest of the field of medicine, the correct diagnosis determines the type of treatment and perhaps medicine used, if medicine is called for. He needs to know this so that he might feel more encouraged to get the help from which he would benefit.

Good Luck


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