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Help Me Fight With My Sex Drive

Question:

I am 27 and married 2 years. Since the delivery of my daughter my wife has never wanted to have sex again. Once we tried but she said its painful and never wants to do it again. She refuses to go to a doctor. I want to have sex everyday but since my wife is not willing I have to masturbate along with watching porn. Beautiful women also set off my erection.

In my field of work I come across a lot of sexily dressed women and I can’t avoid it. Unless my wife helps me I feel I may end up cheating some day. I feel its too early for me for abstinence. Everyday I want to have sex with almost every woman I come across.

Help me with suggestions because I even bought premarin for my wife which she does not even bother to use.

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Answer:

There are a number of things you need to be aware of. First and foremost, never try to aquire a prescription drug without the supervision and advice of a medical doctor. Premarin is a drug used for menopausal women and never should be given except under the control and supervision of a doctor.

In addition, the problem is not that you should fight with your sex drive but that your wife should resume her sexual life. If she has a problem with intercouse being painful after giving birth, then she must speak to her gynacologist. If she refuses and that seems to be the case then you must insist. If she still refuses then you must remind her that an important part of marriage is sex and if she continues to refuses to get help you will have to think about leaving her.

What is surprising is that, by refusing to see a doctor, she is failing to satisfy her own sexual needs. This points to the fact that a part of her problem may be psychological. This is not mean to imply that she does  not have pain on intercouse. However, one would think that an adult woman would want to have intercourse with her husband. Perhaps the two of you need to enter marriage therapy and with a therapist who is expert in dealing with sexual issues.

Also, it is natural for you to feel your powerful sexual desires. Your attraction to other women and wanting to have sex with them is normal and results from not having sex with your wife. The solution is not for you to fight your sexual urges but to get your wife to be sexual again by insisting she go to the doctor. Otherwise, you are correct, you will either cheat on her or leave her. That is what is to be expected and she should be made aware of this.

Best of Luck

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