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I Think I Am Gay And I Need Help To Convert To Heterosexual?


I am ashamed of myself all the time. Some people say that we have to accept homosexuality but I know that there are ways to be normal just like God made us. This homosexual issue is causing me to be shy and not wanting to go out. I am shy about talking to guys. Mostly, this is depressing me a lot because I know that this is not the real me.  Please help me. Tell me anything to do and I’ll do it

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According to both the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association, homosexuality is not considered to be abnormal. In fact, it is considered unethical to attempt to change someone from homosexuality to heterosexuality. In addition, it is now known that, in the animal kingdom, in the wild, homosexuality exists and is more common than previously believed.

Please understand, all of this represents a scientific point of view and has nothing to do with religious beliefs.

However, I can state with certainty that there are Ministers and Priests who are openly admit that they are homosexual and continue to hold their positions. In many of these cases, the congregations are largely made up of men and women who are gay.

It is a terrible thing to know hate yourself for having a sexual, racial or religious orientation. No one chooses their race or ethnicity just as no one chooses their sexual orientation.

In my opinion, your task is to enter psychotherapy and learn to accept yourself for being gay rather than hating and rejecting your self. Self rejection and self hatred have everything to do with depression. If you are a gay person you need to know that there is nothing wrong with it.

It is true that religious belief and practice can be very comforting to people. However, it can also be very guilt provoking and even result in violence, as we see today, around the world, as Muslims attack other Muslims for having different Islamic beliefs. We also are witness to Muslim, Jew, Christian and Catholic peoples at one anothers throats for their different beliefs.

My hope is that you will keep your faith but use it in positive ways to accept yourself, gain comfort and accept differences in other peoples.

So, my recommendation is for you to enter psychotherapy and learn to accept yourself. This represents my honest opinion and from a humanistic point of view in which I accept religion but not when its teachings hurt people. Like all good things, religion needs to be utilized in ways that are positive. Really, how do we know what God really wants and intends. After all, people are all created by the same force. However, as for the bible, that is something I will not get into.

Again, my advice is for you to learn to love yourself.

Best of Luck

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  • Anne Luna

    not everyone who has a same sex attraction is gay - it is a very personal and complicated journey to navigate. If someone is truly struggling with these attractions all options should be presented - including reparitive therapy. the APA has also stated that those seeking this kind of treatment should not be hindered. I would suggest looking into if this is an avenue you would like to explore. Many years ago my husband was told by gay therapists to just accept that his homosexual attractions and he'd find peace. But a gnawing feeling that deep down he was not made this way caused him to keep searching for other answers. 20 years later he says it was the greatest decision he ever made. The day he told his gay therapist that he was stopping treatment to instead meet with reparitive therapist was his first step in repairing his broken masculinity. We are now expecting our third child, and I've had the honor of watching him grow into a more secure and confident man, husband and father. I'm not saying that reparitive therapy is fool proof - or necessarily the answer you are looking for - but you deserve to have all the options that are available to you - and make that decision for yourself.

    Dr. Dombeck's Note: NARTH is an organization of socially conservative psychologists who believe that homosexuality is a problem which can be effectively treated with psychotherapy. This position is in contrast to the position of the main body of American psychologists (and psychiatrists too), who believe that homosexuality is a normal variation of human sexuality, and that there is no need for psychotherapy to occur to try to repair it because it is not a disorder and homosexual people are not broken in the first place. If you think through the consequences of this mainstream view, the real problem is not sexual, but rather social (e.g., that there are lots of people out there who are all too willing to shame people of homosexual orientation (and I assume we are taking about people here who are actually solidly homosexual in their sexual orientation) into hating themselves). Me personally, I see NARTH as a symptom of that larger social problem.

    The person leaving the above comment is essentially correct, however. People should not be prevented from knowing all their options, even if some of their options (like NARTH) are probably not in their best interest. If people want to check NARTH out, because they feel ashamed of themselves and want some attention from other people who will tell them that being a homosexual is indeed shameful, but don't worry, "we can fix you" (which they can't - they can help to alter behavior but not, in most cases, desire), then that is their perogative. As an old psychiatrist mentor once told me, people have the option to "die with their rights on" (e.g., to not follow sound advice, even if it hurts them).

  • anne luna

    Dr. Dombeck, I find your comments to be judgemental and misleading. I can assure you that nothing you described in terms of shame or promising to "fix" homosexual attraction - was anything that my husband described while he was in reparitive therapy. It is often portrayed that way by the media - pro-homosexual groups, or "mainstream" medical groups, but it was simply not his experience. To the contrary, the therapy respected him as a person, helped him build confidence and end years of confusion and shame. Your "personal" opinions and assertion that sure, anyone can be free to check out alternative options....that will probably just harm them...(wink, wink.) was insulting to any intelligent person who can look at research, a variety of treatments, their own judgement, experience and values to make a decision for themselves. I'm also not sure how you can judge the degree of homosexual attraction and identity of the young man (or anyone else for that matter) who was brave enough to write and ask for help based on his brief e-mail - having never met with him or treated him before. I find you efforts to color his opinion before doing his own research irresponsible and offensive. If you actually print this and he is able to read this - I wish him well on his journey and hope that he finds the help he desires, whatever he decides, and whatever the outcome.

    Dr. Dombeck's Note: This is a situation where we simply do not see eye to eye, and that will have to be okay, because there isn't anything else to do about it. We are not focusing on the same problem, I don't think. Or, our definitions of what the problem is comprised of are quite different. I see this particular problem as essentially being about shame not sexuality. If I understand correctly, you see it being more about sexuality. When a young man or woman reports that they are uncomfortable with their sexuality in this fashion, depending on how you see the problem you will try to address it in different ways. Since I see the problem as essentially one of shame - where the young person has internalized a social norm that homosexual attractions are sinful/bad. The treatment for this problem, in my mind, is to work on gaining better perspective on the social norm - to see how it is irrational and counterproductive - and to help the young person break free from its' grip to appreicate his or her sexuality from their own perspective. If you see the problem as being one of distorted sexuality, however (if you are embedded in the social norm and do not question it or see it as irrational), then yes, the proper treatment would appear to be "reparative" therapy designed to "fix" the problem. I appreiciate that this sort of therapy can be offered to clients with great respect and that the outcome (an outwardly heterosexual lifestyle) can be satisfactory to both client and therapist. That does not make such therapy ethical, however. Or rather, what is ethical in this case deeply depends on how you understand the fundamental problem.

    Complicating the issue is that the client, embedded him or herself in the social norm of sinfulness, would perhaps not appreciate the approach I'm suggesting, and perfer reparative therapy. I'm reminded of that scene in "The Matrix" where the character Cypher (played by Joe Pantoliano) betrays the free humans to the machines over an illusion of steak dinner. He knows that the steak is not real but it tastes real to him and he prefers that illusary taste of steak he can have in the matrix to the lack of steak in actual reality. In other words, he doesn't *want* to question the irrational social norm (in the movie, the matrix itself in this world, the idea that homosexuality is a bad thing) because that is too painful. He'd prefer to simply stay bought into it. It is in this sense that I say that people are able to die with their rights on. I certainly have my own opinion, as do you, and I'll tell people what I think if they ask (as will you). However, in the end, you can "lead a horse to water" but the horse has to decide whether to drink or not. The young man or woman has to decide which way they want to go whether to take the blue pill or the red pill.

  • Anonymous-1

    Dr. Mark Dombeck said: "The person leaving the above comment is essentially correct, however. People should not be prevented from knowing all their options, even if some of their options (like NARTH) are probably not in their best interest."

    Dear Dr. Dombeck:

    I appreciate your admitting that the original poster who is looking for answers has the right to seek all options. I agree with you wholeheartedly, and I hope that he does pursue all avenues and weigh all opinions in order to arrive at the answers only he can decide are right for him.

    Where I would part with your espousal is where you say “even if some of their options are probably not in their best interest.” I note that you use the word “probably” not in their best interest, than “absolutely” not in their best interest. I believe you chose the word probably quite purposefully, because as you probably know, there are many individuals who have sought out reparative therapy and have had significant and measurable life changes with respect to same-sex attractions. There is no more unbiased evidence of this fact than the study conducted by Dr. Robert L. Spitzer published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol. 32, No. 5, October 2003, pp. 403-417. As you probably know, Spitzer's findings challenge the widely-held assumption that a homosexual orientation is "who one is" -- an intrinsic part of a person's identity that can never be changed. The study has attracted particular attention because Dr. Spitzer, a prominent psychiatrist, is viewed as a historic champion of gay activism who played a pivotal role in 1973 in removing homosexuality from the psychiatric manual of mental disorders.

    And while you are entitled to you personal opinion that such therapy is “probably” harmful, in his empirical study, Spitzer notes that for the participants, there was “no evidence of harm,” and, to the contrary, he says, "they reported that it was helpful in a variety of ways beyond changing sexual orientation itself." And because his study found considerable benefit and no harm, Spitzer concluded that "the mental health professionals should stop moving in the direction of banning therapy that has, as a goal, a change in sexual orientation. Many patients, provided with informed consent about the possibility that they will be disappointed if the therapy does not succeed, can make a rational choice to work toward developing their heterosexual potential and minimizing their unwanted homosexual attractions."

    As for myself, I did have same sex attractions beginning in young adolescence. However, quite sadly, when I sought help to try and understand my attractions, the only “option” I was given was that “I was simply gay and needed to accept myself for who I was." In my heart, I did not feel that this was the truth. This was not fueled by some deep seeded homophobia or religionist viewpoint that told me I had to “turn or burn,” but rather, because of an intrinsic feeling in my heart that despite some attractions toward other males, I simply had no innate desire to share a life journey with another man.

    I spent in total, about three years with a therapist and support group, who essentially tried to lead me down a path of “liberation” – suggesting that I just drop my homophobia and accept who I was (as Dr. Schwartz suggests to the young man in the original post). I remained steadfast in my belief that I was not gay but still impressionable, I continued to listen to the advice and experience they shared. After nearly three years in therapy with no resolution in sight and with gratitude in my heart for their time and knowledge shared, I sad good bye continued on my journey to seek other answers.

    After much research, I found an alternative viewpoint in Sigmund Freud’s "Letter to an American mother", American Journal of Psychiatry, 107 (1951): p. 787.”

    In his letter, addressing the question of whether change is possible, Freud noted that: “in a certain number of cases we succeed in developing the blighted germs of heterosexual tendencies which are present in every homosexual.” And “if (your son) is unhappy, neurotic, torn by conflicts, inhibited in his social life, analysis may bring him harmony, peace of mind, full efficiency, whether he remains a homosexual or gets changed.” Furthermore, Freud notes that he would be open to working with this mother’s son in providing him therapy. Indeed never once does he note that such therapy could bring irreparable harm to his patient. Never once does he say that such therapy is unethical and ill-advised.

    This was a revelation for me. That the heralded father of psychoanalysis should unequivocally state that change is possible and he would work with an individual who wanted to undergo the therapeutic process, gave me a commanding perspective that is virtually muted by the “helping” profession today.

    Indeed, today, a vast majority of the psychological and psychiatric establishment has slammed the door on such therapy, despite its positive results in many cases (again, I refer you to the Spitzer study). I do believe that Freud himself would be truly disappointed in his contemporaries within the American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatric Association for their highly unethical and blatant censorship of treatment that has helped and can help a countless number of people struggling with feelings same-sex attraction who would otherwise have a choice of treatment and the right to self-determination.

    And speaking of the APA, it should be pointed out that in the last decade, the APA has done a 180 degree turn on their long help belief that homosexuality is “inborn” as the majority APA member therapists espouse. Consider that in 1998, the APA stated:

    "There is considerable recent evidence to suggest that biology, including genetic or inborn hormonal factors, play a significant role in a person's sexuality."

    More recently, that statement was omitted from their documentation and replaced with the following:

    "There is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that an individual develops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay or lesbian orientation. Although much research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors. Many think that nature and nurture both play complex roles..."

    Clearly, the APA is not confident in its own public stance on the matter, and admits that homosexuality can be caused by nurturing influences and that same sex attracted individuals are not simply “born that way.” So to publicly “cut off” access to treatment by their statement that such therapy, which has and can help those who are struggling, is considered unethical and should not be offered is an abomination of ethical, moral and professional practice.

    Having read Freud’s letter, I realized that, for the first time, and quite contrary to the psycho-political nay-saying establishment, change was indeed possible.

    My journey continued and I eventually found NARTH who referred to a psychiatrist that worked alongside me in delving into my personal story. Together, we relived my journey from a young boy to a young man. It was not easy to go back and revisit a lot of the hurt that I experienced as a young boy, into adolescence and young adulthood, but it was necessary. Oh how healing it was to finally see that their were other answers – and that I was not simply “gay and needing to accept it” but rather I was longing to fully develop my masculinity in a way that I was simply unable to do at the time when most young boys take their first steps in the journey toward manhood.

    Among these root causes for me were being raised in a home with a physically and emotionally absent father, who, for the love of his family, worked seemingly around the clock while I was growing up and who, when he was around, for whatever reason, was uncomfortable showing emotion including a simple affirming hug from a father to his young son. At the same time, my mother, who, trying to do the best she could to raise me, felt the need to overcompensate for my father’s physical and emotional absence.

    Not having a male role model to help guide my masculinity had its effects. By the time I was of age to engage in organized sports (around age 7 or 8), I simply avoided it (and would do so until well into my 20’s) because as a young boy, I simply never learned how to play. If there was any shame, it was because I would be teased from time to time about my “not measuring up” to the other boys ability to play sports. Oh how I longed to be like the other boys – to be able to be as confident and athletic as they were.

    In hindsight, this early longing had nothing to do with sexual attraction of any kind, but rather, a desire to simply be more confident like the other boys. Bottom line Dr. Dombeck is, at a certain point, a young boy longs to learn how to become a young man. In an ideal world, this teaching will be passed down from the father to his son (or another male role model including a coach, teacher, etc.,) for it simply cannot, by sheer genetic make-up, be taught by mom. As for me, I never learned how to walk in the footsteps of my father, or for that matter, any other healthy male role model. No, I was left to fend for myself, often sad, shameful and alone. As I got older (12-15 years old), and puberty set in, my sexuality as a young man increased, along with the peer pressure to be more sexual physically. I soon found my desire to be more confident like the other “popular, athletic, confident guys increasing from a psychological attraction - to a physical attraction – but more in the sense that if I can just look more like them, I will be more manly and others will accept me. But in this sensitive developmental stage, I began to wonder if I was gay.

    Through magazines that my older brother kept hidden in a drawer, and later through phonesex lines advertised in the back of the magazines, I soon found myself falling into pornography of all kinds – gay, straight…it didn’t matter, what I wanted to learn was “how a man was supposed to act.” In a very disordered way, I felt that I was being taught how to “be a man” through pornography.

    It was through therapy that I was able to get perspective on my situation and see it for what it was – not the result of nature, but rather, clearly defined by nurture. I continued therapy for about three years, and along my journey, my same sex attraction desires diminished significantly and completely and my understanding of who I was and who I was meant to be increased significantly.

    Today, I can attest to the fact that my same sex attraction simply does not exist as it once did. I am married, with three young children and a wife who not only knows my story but was an integral part of my often painful and ultimately healing journey of self discovery and self determination. I credit this transformation with having options and being granted the right to self determination rather than accepting the psycho-political establishment’s assertion that I was simply “gay” and needed to accept myself.

    And while I am happy to have completed my journey thus far, it is sad to me that today there are probably tens of thousands of young people, who are in the same situation I was in, and who because of an unrelenting psycho-political establishment negative stance toward the “right” to self determination, may not know that there are alternatives worth seeking if they so choose. And, when and if they find such alternatives, are bombarded with messages from the “helping” profession that such treatment is unethical, harmful and should not be pursued.

    I hope that my personal story reaches the original man who posted his struggle, for while I cannot guarantee that his journey will be the same as mine, I would tell him that the "journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step," and I would encourage him to take it.

    Dr. Dombeck's Note: It occurred to me that this topic would work well as an essay unto itself, so what I've done is to take my response to this comment here and put it into an essay which will publish tomorrow (March 9th, 2010) under the title "reparative therapy for homosexuality: is it ethical, should it be provided". Once published, I will link it from here.

    LINK: Reparative Therapy For Homosexuality: Is It Ethical? Should It Be Provided?

  • Anonymous-1

    In the end, it doesn't matter what my opinion is about the nature of homosexuality, or yours either. What matters is what the person writing to you asked for, and respecting what that person's core values are. I felt that the answer was insufficient on many levels. I would have respected an answer that said something to the effect of : while my personal and professional opinion is that therapy to help you accept these feeling would be most appropriate (because of all the reasons that were given), what you are describing is reparitive therapy, while I don't endorse it, it is certainly your right to pursue it and I can provide you with more (unbiased) information if you so desire. An analogy of this would be a pro-life Dr. being presented with a young pregnant patient saying she didn't want the baby. While the Dr. may find abortion unethical, it is the Dr.'s responsiblity to inform the patient of all options and let the patient decide.

    Instead, the person writing in got some bizarre answer about secular humanism and a lot of anti-religion mumbo jumbo. I found this particularly confusing since the website is not There were a lot of assumptions made about the writer's religious beliefs based on one comment about God. We simply don't know what the writer's beliefs are - and injecting your own beliefs about religion is not respecting the core values of the writer.

    It really does no good to agree that a person has the right to choose reparitive therapy - if when that person comes asking for advice from a mental health professional - the option is never given. My husband happens to be an avid researcher and has a dogged sense of determination - so when he was not satisfied with the answers the mental health community provided - he kept searching. How long did he needlessly suffer because someone with a degree thought they knew better and edited out information they didn't think he needed? But not everyone has my husband's gift. Not everyone will keep on searching for answers. How frustrating must it be to be screaming out - I have these feelings, but deep inside, I don't think this is who I am, only to be told, yes you are - just accept it - over and over again. I would suppose after a while one would just give up.

  • Anonymous-2

    These comments against Dr.Schwartz's advice is living proof that we have decades to go before the general populace wakes up and recognizes that homosexuality is a natural an irreversible variation of our biology. Its like telling and African American that he should seek therapy for being black. It doesn't cease to amaze me the perpetual inability of our species to learn from its gruesome past. There will be a time for judgement where we all will learn from our despicable nature. An the "High and Mighty" of us will get the brunt of this judgement (Maybe I'll be included for wasting my energy arguing amongst you).

  • SSA

    The man needs to convert to hetrosexual because he hates to be gay.And the the Dr.'s help was that the man should accept what he is regardless of any religious influnece,etc. You see what, people who don't have the right answer to tell you always tell you that you have to accept what you are and live with it. Actually, no body decides to be male/female, it is just natural, but to be homosexual or hetrosexual has never been a natrual phenomena. That is why many people become gay latter in thier life or is thier choice based on some interests.

    But, imagine some one coming to a doctor and tells the doctor that he wants to kill him, then the doctor tells the man "don't listen to what the priests and religion says, be what you are............come on and kill me! that is how you were created, to kill when ever you know, science has discovered that some animals eat thier kind too, a new discovery more that what we used to know...." ..............


    Is that what it means to help others? I know that the doctor will not allow his patient to kill him or others unless the doctor is also abnormal. So is it here. How on earth a doctor says accept what you are while a man seeks help to escape from the abnormal behaviour that is coming into his was not his nature, it is growing now! ............A man becomes alcoholic and you tell him to accept what he is,being a drunkard! 'am not saying you have to blame the person, but you have to help him because his inner being is telling him that he wants to convert to to normal life, that is hetosexuality!

  • Anonymous-3

    Two basic concepts of who I am....a Christian and a psychology undergrad. Homosexuality has been a hot top in class this term. Co-horts are trying to convince me that homosexuality is a born trait. I cannot find much secular view on why it is so wrong because the world does not see it in such light - instead it is becoming a more acceptable idea. I personally don't care if the APA says it's ok to be gay - they are not an authority for such a matter. I guess if media pushes something at us then there comes a point when some people will cave under pressure and believe what media says. God created Adam and Eve - two heterosexuals, to reproduce. He created all animals, one male and one female - to reproduce. That is our object - to reproduce. So, show me ANY homosexual couple that can reproduce. That, in and of itself, states that homosexuality is wrong. The Bible is living proof of this. Go to a Baptist pastor and ask for help. Not Catholic (they've been in the news for molestation and cannot be trusted) or any other branch of Catholicism. Of the homosexual people that I know, they are confused people and don't even know it. They've been molested or have experienced some other type of horror in their lives. You can change - just like any addiction.

  • JakeH

    I have seen very few studies that actually showed any real change in orientation. The best seems to be that a minority was either able to supress a "unwanted" part of their bisexual nature (if they were so lucky to have that flexability) in some way. Some did stay in heterosexual relationships (still with a homosexual orientation) for some time, though ... like in the Spitzer study ... the studies were extremely poorly followed through. Also, most of these studies ... like the Spitzer study ... included almost solely people with a deep religious and social pressures to 'change' to begin with. They were all in the 'ex-gay' crowd to start and, not only that, hand-picked by ex-gay ministries as their best examples of 'change' (not a resonable sample by any means). Not only that, but nearly all the 'successes' ended up being 'ex-gay' counselors in that buisness themselves ... primarily just as long so as they were still in it. It was akin to asking a saleman if their product was good, and then asserting that opinion as a wide truth opon everyone else.

    If the specific religious angle is where you want to lead, then I would not stop you from trying to determine yourself in the way you see fit. I, however, wouldn't expect anything near an easy or complete 'change.'

    I would also advise against approaching NARTH in particular. Though I do believe some of their leaders have good intentions, it seems quite obvious that most are there for their hatred of gay people instead of their sincere attempt to help anyone. What finally made me give up on them completely, and there was still a lot there before this, was their assertion that HIV could not be transmitted through semen ... simply because, as their argument went, if the contrary was true then all gay men would be ejaculating in fast food to infect other people on purpose (yet another of their hundreds absurdly homophobic convictions).

  • Tim, CO

    Jake, re: the Spitzer study...Sigmund Freud cautions, in his letter to a mother re: changing sexual orientation, that her son must "want to change" or his approach will fail. This is precisely why Spitzer chose his subjects from ex-gay groups - as they had strong motivation.

    I suspect Dr. Dombeck and Dr. Schwartz would concur, that is virtually futile to try to help someone unless they come to thearpy wanting to help. This is a not a gay/straight paradigm. This is with any desire to change anything.

    To use a parallel example, in order for someone to lose weight and become healthier, they must "want to lose weight and become healthier." If you were a scientist conducting a study on the impact of a certain weight loss intervention, would you choose subjects who constantly overeat and who publicly state that they have no interest in losing weight? I suspect not, for it made no sense whatsoever for Spitzer to select individuals who don't want to change/are perfectly happy with their orientation. This philosophy, by the way, is also that of NARTH. If you are happy with same sex attractions, thier is no issue. If you desire to seek change, they will try to help you.

    Jake, please post a link to your source that NARTH espouse AIDS cannot be contracted through Semen."

  • rachel

    As was mention before, the problem comes from us assuming there are two sexualities. 1. hetero 2. homo.

    Sexuality is so much more (wonderfully) complex than this. We accept that people may, for example like some things or people more than other things people but somehow, we can't translate this to where it counts most.

    All the "conversion therapy" does is make you so traumatized and hateful about yourself that you'd rather be deperately unhappy than unable to function.

    More horrible is the bizarre focus on one moment of scripture when hundreds of pages celebrate love, truth, connection and sanctity. They make 10 commandments less important!

    Love thyself and find one of the thousands of Bible-loving Churches that think it's fun to be hateful.

  • Tim, CO

    I personally have a friend that recevied reparative therapy and found much peace and resolution as a result. I would think that those who espouse a more liberal viewpoint would not stand in the way of someone choosing a form of therapy that they felt was right for them. But then again, I agree with the earlier comment that "those who claim to be tolerant of differing viewpoints are only really tolerant until you disagree with them" (in other words, they are really a bit hypocritical).

  • Kevin

    I honestly can't believe what I'm reading in some of these comments here. Here it is almost 2011 and still the majority of "religion" fight over what causes us to be homosexual. Honestly I feel bad for the Baptist up there that mentioned the reproduction thing. While of course it's true men and women were created to reproduce, BUT, just because somewhere along the line something happened that resulted in homosexuality DOESNT mean that homosexuality is the most horrible thing on earth. I mean come on people are you serious?I'm about to waste alot of wind here.

    First off, the bible was written by people with good imagination and not to mention a lack of REAL-WORLD knowledge that we have today. Of course when the Earth had a population of only a few hundred it would seem weird that 5 or 10 of them were same-sex oriented, and I'm sure it scared the hell out of them. Furthermore, all you Southern Baptist any stupid religion backwood no good 2cm brained arrogant pridefull can't even talk in a tone of education people out there please do something with yourselves. Do you think I want a group of people who think it's ok to label women as slaves to men tell me it's not ok for me to fall in love with someone I'm in love with?

    Wait, I want to hear what the excuse is for homosexual animals. Was it because they were molested or experienced something horrific in their life? Was it because the devil just decided he was gonna point his big finger at a newborn rabbit and make him gay? Lol Its a shame that alot of people in here making stupid comments are actually the ones who live lies.

    I'm a 24 year old homosexual male. I've had a terrible life because I've been homosexual since as long as I've been able to open my eyes and while I never came out until the age of 23 I was still tortured since early years of childhood because I still had gay tendencies. Luckily my mother and father were ALWAYS there for me. They don't know but if I told them I know for a fact it wouldn't be an issue, my problem was society and how I was being treated at such a young age because of something I had no control over and because of something that I didn't even really know about. My family life was great my father was always there for me and we had a great relationship. I am here today as SOLID PROOF that being homosexual is not a choice, nor is it a hell by default sentence. I guarantee you that every single person in these comments that were rude and close-minded will be a few rows behind me in the line to get into Heaven.

  • Bahram

    I am Bahram from iran and have gay desires, however never acted on them.

    As I know gay men have different desires, for example in my case, I never liked men around my age, or young beautiful men or lean and smooth bodies or weak or old men

    I value some features in men, maturity, having a thick beefy and hairy body, they may be sign of power and protection

    I value them as features of masculanity. It can be the result of my childhood image toward the men I knew and my desire to power.

    There are gay who value other things because they affair with people that I don't like

    are they all equal? the gay word in this article is vague

    What a gay should accept?

    you mean in my case I should accept that I value these features? Then there would be a question, Why I value them?

    You say there is no answer for that why? and there is no therapy for that why? and Should anyone accept any desire who he or she has?

    some people for the some process get involved in strange sexual fantasies, like sh*t, blood or death bodies...

    who are them?, are they again some gays, and they should accept it? they should accept what?!


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