I met a guy over the Internet about a year ago, and we grew to be very close friends. We later decided we wanted to be together, and exchanged pictures, personal information, talked on the phone, etc. Late last year, our relationship began being strained, but things were fine when I flew to meet him over Christmas and stayed with him then. Since I’ve been home, things have been very hot-cold again. We are both very intense people…and we both have some emotional problems and past issues. I am aware that he was diagnosed as a sociopath, and having experienced that in my own family (my father is a sociopath) I know that pursuing the relationship may not have been the wisest choice, in a logical sense. However…I do love him and even though we are not technically together now, I am hoping we will get back together. He is feeling increasingly detached from things in general lately, and that worries me, because I -know- he is capable of emotion, despite his sociopathic tendencies. I was wondering if you had any suggestions for ways I can help him to break through whatever is blocking his emotions?
- Dr. Dombeck responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
- Dr. Dombeck intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Dombeck to people submitting questions.
- Dr. Dombeck, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Dombeck and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
The only suggestion that I have for you is that you consider that sometimes the rational side of your mind should be taken seriously, even when it conflicts with your desire to love someone and to be loved back by that someone. You state clearly here that you know that being in a relationship with this man is not wise. Take your own judgment seriously! Don’t pursue a relationship that you know is unhealthy for you just because you feel emotionally compelled to do so. Would it be a good idea to get yourself hooked on Cocaine just because it felt good to snort it? I think not. The same logic applies to your relationships. If a man is not good for you, don’t pursue him, even if it often feels good to be around him or to think about him. To do otherwise is to be self-destructive.