I have met someone online from a different country. We are planning on getting married. Family & friends don’t seem to believe that you can “fall in love” with someone & make this commitment without first “knowing them in person” as they word it. We see each other via cams and talk with one another via computers & telephone. Are their concerns truly founded or not?
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Your family and friends’ concerns are founded. There is a difference between a long-distance relationship and one where the partners are living together or nearby day to day. It is helpful that you are in constant contact via computers and telephone, but it is not the same thing as being together. You can’t touch one another when you are living apart, nor can you see how stress affects them in their bodies. It is quite possible to fall in love over the long distance, but this state of being in love is not stable. When you fall in love long distance, you are falling in love with who you think the other person is. The other person is on good behavior. It is not until you live with someone physically, and have to be in the presence of each other’s underwear and annoying habits, that you can begin to see what the other person is really like. You and your partner will face the additional problems associated with different countries and different cultures. I’d say, go forward with your plans if that is what you want to do, but don’t fool yourself into thinking you know this other person enough to be absolutely sure you’ll be marrying who you are bargaining for.