You see Anne, I admitted to myself to being gay when I was about 14. I am now 28 and still having problems with this issue. When I was about 18 I fell in love with my best friend. I ruined a great relationship because I couldn’t deal with him having girlfriends. He didn’t know that I was gay, but I’m sure he suspected. It was very painful for me to be in love with him and not to get back the love that I desired. Now 10 years later I find myself in the same situation. I am once again in love with my best friend, and I am constantly depressed because I think he is realizing my true feelings for him. As a result, he is pushing me away. I know that he will never feel what I feel, and I can’t deal with it. I need his friendship very badly. I’m trying to stay away from him, but it’s hard since we share the same friends. I constantly run into him. Each time I go home feeling depressed because I miss him so much. Please give some advice on how to deal with this problem. I want to save my friendship with this man. I don’t want to live life as a gay man, because I see lots of pain involved. I had high hopes that I could cure these homosexual feelings through some kind of therapy, but according to what I’ve read, it’s not possible…is that true? What can I do? I’ve not yet been in a gay relationship, but I am in need of having some one say I love you to me too. Thank you so much for reading this letter. Please answer me as soon as possible- as I’m very desperate for a solution.
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Yes, it’s true, most homosexuals feel their preference is not a choice. It sounds as though you still need to discover what your sexual preference is. Have you had a relationship with a woman? I suggest that you do some investigation. Find out if it is possible for you to be happy with a woman. Perhaps it is a matter of finding the right person, regardless of their sex. Not everyone’s sexual preferences are clear cut. You’re still young, so don’t feel pressured to find the right person today! Give yourself some time to discover the real you. Unfortunately we can not choose who we love. If you sincerely want to remain friends with this man, I suggest not telling him about your true feelings for him. I understand that hiding how we feel about another is not always an easy task, but it’s not impossible. Everyone finds someone. With a little patience, I’m sure you will find someone to return your feelings. Sincerely, – Anne