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Losing My Sex Appeal?

Question:

My husband and I have been together for almost 2 years now. In the beginning, before we were married, he was very interested in sex and so attracted to me. Shortly after we were married he lost interest. We’ve had many problems since then. He doesn’t enjoy sex very much now, and has told me so. His energy is low and he’s irritable a lot. I try to be a good wife. I keep the house clean, along with working a full-time job – I do whatever I can to make him happy. But he’s not very happy. My sex drive is a lot greater than his and it’s driving me crazy. I’ve tried everything as far as being more spontaneous, initiating it. I guess I’m emotionally devastated that he doesn’t want me in that way, like when we first met. What can I do to make things better in our marriage and make him want me more sexually?

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  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
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Answer:

Give it time. Almost every couple goes through a dry spell. Stress is one of the biggest deterrents of sex, and everyone gets stressed out. It sounds to me like you’re blaming yourself for your husband’s irritable mood, when, in fact, it is probably outside forces that are affecting him. I suggest you sit your husband down and have a talk with him. Let him know that his lack of interest in sex is affecting you. I can’t tell you what is affecting your husband’s sex drive, but he can. Try and not come off as pushy or demanding…let him know that you are concerned about him. Whatever if affecting him is affecting you as well. It is possible that your attempts at seduction were just poorly timed. Very few men are ready for a roll in the hay after a long day at work. Have you tried initiating sex when he’s probably a lot less tired – such as a Saturday or Sunday morning? Take care, – Anne

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