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My Sense Of Humor...

Question:

The Lack of Social Skills e-mail inquiry rung a bell for me. I too am trying to expand my social network. It’s not that I’m biased against any particular sex, color, creed etc. My problem is that I pass/fail a potential friend based on their reception to my sense of humor. Great Scott, even my dalmatian had to laugh at my jokes or else I would have purchased a chihuahua…(sorry, there I go again). If they pass, then things are fine. If they fail, I like to terminate contact ASAP as I feel uncomfortable around them. I guess I’m looking for a middle ground. How do I judge which people I want to associate with?

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
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Answer:

Well, if you are asking how to choose your friends, that is your decision. But here are some criteria that I use for selecting friends. First, think about what certain types of qualities you want in a friend. For example, I value loyalty; I need a friend who is always going to be there for me. You also need to decide about whether or not you can trust this person. Trust is very important. Try not to end a friendship so soon just because they didn’t laugh at your jokes. Often times I don’t value a person’s sense of humor until I get to know that person. Some individuals have off-beat personalities, and I don’t laugh at their jokes because I don’t understand them. Once I get to know the person, I begin to see the humor behind some of the things they say. Selecting friends shouldn’t be such a rigorous process. If you click with someone, a friendship will more than likely evolve. See what other qualities potential friends have to offer. Don’t try so hard, take your time when choosing a friend, you never know who you’ll find. Sincerely, – Anne

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