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Overdriven And Uncontrolled Sex Drive Needs Daily Masturbation

Question:

Please help me. It’s a disease for me now because I have a daily routine of masturbating, sometimes without interest. It’s a habit now like smoking. I’m a good student, age 25, but now, due to this factor, I am losing my concentration as well as memory, at least I’m feeling that. I believe in Yoga and prayer and still, I am unable to control my mind and to preserve myself. Please suggest how to reduce this type of daily habit. When I’m slightly free of work it just captures me as a ghost. After I am done it gives so much pain that I am concerned about my future. Please suggest some help for me.

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Answer:

I have a number of responses to the sexual problem with which you seem to be plagued. It appears to have the appearance of a compulsion that you are forced to do as a way to reduce anxiety. However, I suspect that there is more going on here.

I have no way of knowing if you are male or female but I rather guess that you are male. I don’t know why, it’s just a guess on my part.

Anyway, it is important to understand that, at age twenty five, you are at the height of your sexual drive. That drive, as you are well aware, is extremely powerful and difficult to resist. At your age, people are “pairing off” or mating with a significant other either as a permanent relationship or as a marrige partner. Within the context of an intimate relationship, two people are able to enjoy sexual relations with one another on a daily basis. In fact, at the start of most permanent and intimate relationships, people often engage in sexual relations many times during the day or evening.

What I am leading you to is the question of whether or not you have an intimate relationship. It makes no difference whether a person is heterosexual or homosexual, because the drive is the same in its power and determination. So, if you do not have a partner you need to date and find someone whom you love, who loves you and with whom you can enjoy the mutuality of sexual satisfaction, love and joy.

However, if you have an intimate relationship and compulsively masturbate even though you have sex with your partner, then, you could be dealing with an emotional problem of some type.

What I want to suggest to you is that you enter psychotherapy. A Clinical Psychologist or experienced Licensed, senior Clinical Social Worker would be the type of person you could see. If you are having relationship problems and find yourself without an intimate partner, then you want the therapist who has expertise in relationships as well as sexuality.

It has been said that the adult male thinks about sex once every two or three seconds. I don’t know if this is true of all males, some males or a few males but I tend to believe it. After all, at age twenty five, nature or God, (However you choose to believe) has prepared us for reproduction. Perhaps you have what you call a “disease” but I doubt it. You should seek psychotherapy to help you through so that you can have a full life as a student, human being and fully sexual adult person with another willing and happy adult.

Best of Luck

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Comments
  • Anonymous-1

    If you want to masturbate, then you masturbate, there is absolutely nothing wrong in that, all it does it gives you those few moments of joy, nothing else.

    You are completely normal, and should not worry about it. I would guesse most men, if not all do masturbate many times daily.

    Get on with your life, and enjoy your moments, no harm done to anyone.

  • Anonymous-2

    I am 31 yrs. old, doing mastrubation since the age of 12. My wife does not have sex drive.

    I dont think there is anything wrong in what you are doing.
    And I dont think it causes any effect on your concentration or memory.

  • Anonymous-3

    I have the same problem as you, I am a 21 year old Male. I am masturbating daily since i was 12, and i find this activity to be disturbing my regular study & concentration. After i masturbate i feel weakness & less determined to my studies comparing to before masturbating. Also, i think this activity has effects on my health. Also, i found articles which confirmed these effects ( problems in proper urination ).

    I agree its a "disease", its as powerful as smoking or drinking. But i thinking Mr Schwartz has some strong points. Especially the emotional one.

  • Anonymous-4

    I strongly disagree with the idea that you need to find a partner who you can share this with. It's like suggesting that masturbation alone is a problem. It is not. It's healthy and normal for many people. I am a woman by the way, and I also take offense at the assumption that the writer is a man. Perhaps he is, but the writer could just as easily be a woman. Believe it or not there are women with strong sex drives too. I strongly recommend the book "Sex for One," by Betty Dodson.

  • Allan N. Schwartz, PhD

    Suggesting that masturbation alone is not a problem overlooks the main point that sexuality is interactive. It is a form of communication of love and lust and brings two people closer together. Having said this, I admit and acknowledge that lots of people who have intimate partners engage in masturbation. That is fine.

    However, there is a problem if the sole form of sexual expression is masturbation. The reason its a problem is that it is self isolating rather than mutual and interactive.

    As to assumptions about who the this message is posted to I am willing to admit that I thought of the writer as male. However, ipso facto does not work here because my assumption is not that only men masturbate. In fact, you are assuming something about me making assumptions. You can see how silly this becomes.

    Male or female, if masturbation is the sole and only form of sexual expression for an adult, then, yes, there is a problem. If it is something that happens even when someone is in an intimate relationship then, no, it does not fall into the category of problem.

    Let's all stop making assumptions.

  • Anonymous-5

    try to stop msb for 1 month. After that u will get a power for avoid msb

  • rajesh

    ya sir i m doing daily sex by using hands i cant stop ...............................wat to do.........if furture i will any problem or not

    reply is must

  • Anonymous-6

    i am 27yrs male,i regularly masturbate since i was 14yrs.i believe feeling weak after masturbation is mental,of course do not over due it.

  • robert

    I don't hear anything in what you have said that tells me you are anything other then normal. Most guys masturbate daily. Some guys masturbate more then once a day. If your in a relationship and still masturbating daily then you may not be getting enough sexual attention or maybe you are not really ment for this person. I would continue to do what you are doing. However, I would not move from masturbation to sleeping around. Masturbation is safe sex, sleeping around means you could catch a disease.

  • Richard Ambrose

    I am 33 years old and have had surgery wice for a double hernia on my testicles. I need help know what to do. What options are available. Would really appreciate help from men who have had testicular hernias.

  • Anonymous-7

    youre only masturbating frequently because you have fallen into habit. replace that habit with something else... for example work out. if that doesnt work theres always a cold shower

  • Allan N. Schwartz, PhD

    Hi Everyone,

    All of you have made a good point and I should have clarified that point in my response. My clumbsiness. Yes, masturbation is normal and is something that men and women engage in. There is nothing wrong with it and it is not physically harmful.

    It just seemed to me that the young man who wrote his question needed to relieve his self criticism by finding a sexual partner. However, you are quite correct that he is doing himself no harm.

    I hope I have clarified this.

    Dr. Schwartz

  • Martin

    Its normal, theres nothing wrong. I also dont see why you should stop when you're in a relationship. Can someone explain this to me please?

    If you're enjoying sex with your partner and yourself, what on earth is wrong with that?

  • Anonymous-8

    I was allways ashamed of masturbation, but I couldnt force myself to stop. It is comforting to know that I am normal in this reguard. I have never hurt anyone and I guess in a world such as this I may have found something to be proud of.

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