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Serious Problems

Question:

My wife has a serious problem(s). I love her with all my heart. I am totally living my life for her. Bought her a new car a new house, closed yesterday. Faithful, loving affectionate and very considerate with our kids. I would consider myself a very good husband and father. Her problems are fear of me for some reason. Always thinking that I want to kill her, poison her, sabatoge her car or that I’m unfaithful and untrustworthy. Things will be fine and then moods come in and she is like a totally different person. She doesn’t have any trust for me and there is no reason for her to think that of me. Do you have any ideas. She is always leaving me. I try to stay stable for the kids and her to have a place to come back to. Got any ideas

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  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
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Answer:

Two ideas. First, I think it is possible that your wife may have problems requiring psychiatric intervention. You describe behavior that is essentially paranoid and out of touch with reality (assuming you are not actually trying to harm her). She may have experienced some history of abuse that would lead her to be untrusting, or be experiencing some sort of psychotic process, but either way it sounds like she needs some professional help. Second, I’m a little concerned for you being the person who is trying to hold this family together in the face of her erratic behavior. I appreciate your dedication, but worry that you’ll burn yourself out trying to manage this situation. I think it might benefit your family if you were to find some support and advice (either through friends and family or via a professional licensed therapist). It is important for your family that you attend to your own stress levels and health.

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