Anne, I recently divorced my husband of 20 years and fell totally in love with a woman. She confuses me. Sometimes she comes on to me and other times she seems distant. I desperately want a relationship with this woman, but she seems to be holding back and I don’t know why. I can’t even sleep because of her. This has been going on since March, and my patience is running out. Do you have any words of wisdom for an aching heart? Thanks!
- ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
- ‘Anne’, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. ‘Anne’ and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
There are a lot of reasons why she could be reticent. She may be unsure of what she wants, or afraid that your relationship is going too fast, or it could be that something else is going on in her life right now… The one thing that strikes me about your story is the speed with which it seemed to happen. You just divorced your husband of twenty years and already you are desperately in love? Have you considered that this could be a rebound relationship? I suggest you take a step back and asses your situation. This is a good time to be rediscovering who you are outside of a relationship, rather than jumping right into another one. Good luck to you, – Anne