I am 38 and my boyfriend is 25. We had been seeing each other for two years. In January of this year we bought a house together and moved in February 1. Up until this month we had a very active and erotic sex life, but now things are changing. Three weeks ago he asked me what I thought of the swinging scene; I hadn`t really given it much thought, so I said I`d have to know more. He must have taken this as a yes, because I found out we are in an ad looking for swinging couples. To make things worse, he received an answer to his ad from a couple wanting single sex, three-somes, and even four-somes. We are fighting because he wants to send a picture of me naked to them, when I didn’t know about the ad in the first place. Why didn’t he bring this up before? Why did he wait until we bought the house? All he talks about lately is which women he finds sexy. I am starting to think that I am no longer woman enough. What do I do ? I feel that if I don’t swing, we’ll break up. I truly believe he will even if I don’t. How do I save my relationship ? What do I do ? Thank you.
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First of all, you need to decide what it is you want to do. And if you are really uncomfortable with this then tell him. If he does not understand that this is not what you want, then maybe he is not the right guy for you. He needs to respect your boundaries and not cross over them. The both of you need to sit down and discuss the whole matter. Ask him why he waited until now to tell you. One reason might be that he was scared to mention this to you, and maybe he thought you would leave if you found out before you moved in together. However, if the two of you can not resolve anything, then maybe you are just incompatible. Do not subject yourself to something you don’t want to do. You will only hurt yourself in the end. Sincerely, – Anne