My husband tells me that I talk in my sleep, specifically about things that I want to do sexually – which mostly involves threesomes with another man or woman and him. He is always telling me that if I speak about these things in my sleep its because I want to experience them. I have done it a couple of times but he wants me to continue. I’m starting to not believe that I’m talking in my sleep especially because I don’t remember and also because consciously I ma averse to going through these things again. I’m getting a little stressed out because I feel that even if I do vocalize these things in my sleep, it doesn’t mean that I actually want to experience them. what should I do?
- Dr. Dombeck responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
- Dr. Dombeck intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Dombeck to people submitting questions.
- Dr. Dombeck, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Dombeck and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
Having ‘threesomes’ is something your husband wants to do, not you. You’re making it pretty clear here that you don’t want to participate in this sort of activity at all; you find it aversive. Your husband is probably making up a story about you sleep-talking to satisfy his own appetites (at the expense of your comfort and safety). If I’m correct, this is not a particularly loving thing for him to do. Even if you were sleep-talking and did say these things, it doesn’t mean that because you said something, that you would actually want to do that thing. If you don’t want to engage in particular sorts of sexual activity, then you shouldn’t – and your husband should respect your refusal. If he doesn’t he is a selfish and perhaps even abusive man. I hope this is helpful to you.
More "Ask Dr. Dombeck" View Columnists
