Need help breaking free from addiction?
1-888-993-3112
Call 24/7 for treatment options. Who Answers?

So-Called

Question:

My fiancee recently visited her alma mater and spend the weekend with her so-called “best friend” who basically ruined her weekend by trying to ruin our relationship. We are extremely happy and content with each other, and she is not very happy with her fiance and has cheated on him 3 times since they got engaged. Her friend even went so far as to encourage their mutual male friend to “hang in there since ‘we’ won’t last.” She also stated that she is marrying me for my money and that she and her fiance think I am not the right one for her. Yet, neither of them has ever met me in person. Her friend is an only child and is extremely spoiled. My fiancee returned from the trip in tears and had nightmares that someone she trusted and cared about would do this to her. She had invited her to be a matron of honor before this episode and doesn’t know what to do to resolve this. I don’t want to come between her and her jealous friend. What can I do to help my fiancee see her friend for who she really is? How should I proceed so that I don’t become the “bad guy” in this?

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
  • Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
  • ‘Anne’, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. ‘Anne’ and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
Answer:

Ask your fiancee why she thinks her friend is acting this way. Has your fiancee said anything to her friend to make her friend interpret you in a wrong way? Could there be some misunderstanding on the part of your fiancee’s friend? Or, could you be correct in assuming that this friend is jealous? She may not want your fiancee to be happier than she is. Possibly, your fiancee could find this out by having a long talk with this person. Her actions could all be stemming from her own unhappiness, and your fiancee may be able to help her come to terms with this. Another simple conclusion to this problem is that your fiancee’s friend may have a hidden agenda: to get your fiancee and their mutual male friend together. If this is the case, your fiancee must make sure that her friend understands that you two have no intentions of not getting married. If I were you, I would not get involved directly. This is something to be worked out between your fiancee and her friend. If this friend cannot be happy for the both of you, then she is not being a true friend. Your fiancee will need to come to terms with this and should not allow this to get in the way of celebrating one of the most wonderful days of your lives. I hope this helps, – Anne

More "Ask Anne" View Columnists

Close

Call the Helpline Toll-FREE

To Get Treatment Options Now.

1-888-993-3112 Who Answers? 100% Confidential

Get Help For You or a Loved One Here...

Click Here for More Info.

Close

Call The Toll-FREE Helpline 24/7 To Get Treatment Options Now.

100% Confidential
Get Treatment Options From Your Phone... Tap to Expand