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I Want To Die!

Question:

I have been in a relationship with a guy for 11 months which was really deep. We know each other since school but we never used to talk to each other at that time. I am a shy and conservative girl. I am 23 years old now. After 6 years, he messaged me on facebook and thats how we started knowing each other.

One day he insisted on meeting me.  S,o I meet him with my friends at my college. I just got to know from my mum that his mum gave a proposal to me, on the night before meeting him. I was shocked and wanted to tell him not to meet me but it was too late. Instead, I told my friends. After few days, I told him that I can’t meet him anymore because of that event. He said that he didn’t know about it and apologized for what his mum had done. I said still I can’t and avoided his calls. One day, he called me and said that nothing will change between us even if we talk or don’t (ie friendship). After a few days of meeting and chatting, he declared and sweared in the name of God and his mother that he loves me and can’t live without me. After rejecting several times his offer to become his girlfriend before getting married to him, one day he cried a lot and begged me not to leave him. He said how his family struggled to come to the state they are in now, and so on. He said if I leave him he will be sad forever and will never talk to me. I told him that I didn’t want to lose his friendship and I continued to talk to him whenever he called me.

Slowly and slowly I felt some feelings for him.  I went out with him and he promised not to leave me in the name of God and his mother.

One day, he asked me to show him my new house. After showing him my new house, he pulled me and was trying to open my clothes. When I pushed him and was trying to run away from him, he was pulling me. Wherever I was going, he was blocking my way, pulled me forcefully and pushed me onto the bed. I was crying and telling him to stop, but he didn’t.

We finally had sex. After that I bled. On his way home, he called me up and said, “You are so innocent…anyone can use you!” I was shocked, afraid and was crying a lot. After the event, he stopped calling me like he used to do and whenever I used to call him and ask why..he used tell me that he was busy. He didn’t even ask me once how was I feeling? After all it was my first sex which he knows it very well.

After a few months, he used to call me every Wednesday to ask me to meet him on Thursday. Everytime before meeting him, he used to promise me that he won’t have sex with me but whenever we used to meet he always does even if I don’t want to. If I don’t want to, he either used to be sad and keep quiet or say,  “I have the right!”

Recently, I found out that he is getting married with someone else. When I called him, he said that his parents are not ready to listen to him. If he tells them about me they will die because it seems that his mum hates my mum.  We had a huge arguement over this. He even said that I was playing with him and that I didn’t love him at all.

I was really shocked and depressed. He even said that he can’t lose such an opportunity because the girl who he is getting married to is an intellectual and good in studies. I couldn’t believe his words! I was so depressed and sick that I consulted a physician and she said that I am under acute depression and anxiety. I couldn’t even tell her why because my mum was in the waiting room.

Finally, on his wedding day, I cried and told my dad everything (except for the illicit stuff). He became shocked and depressed. I asked to forgive me for whatever I did and to help me recover from such terrible event. He agreed and said to forget that guy as he never deserved me.

A few days after his wedding, I told my mum about what he said and asked her whether she said anything wrong about his mum. My parents said they didn’t say anything bad neither about him nor his mum. Finally, my mum spoke to one her friend, who name was given out of those 3 sources. The aunt swore that she didn’t say anything to his mum nor even spoke to his mum either. The aunt called him and asked about the event. The guy told everything what I told her about our family matters and said that he didn’t say anything to me and that my parents told something bad about his mum! He said his sister was also there when he was speaking with me. His sister also said that I told him all these things!!!

When my mum told me this I was shocked to death!!! I couldn’t believe my ears! Then what was reason to leave me?! I can’t forget all these…how will I lead a normal life…how can I forget such an event!!! How can he tell such LIES!!! God is watching…He is the only witness I have…what will I do??? Why isn’t He doing anything??? How will I live?!!! Why did he do this to me!!!

I feel like dying!!! I never wanted to have sex before my marriage……!!!!!! I wanted to keep this as a gift of God for my husband!!! Now I don’t have anything to give and share!!! I hate myself!!! HOW COULD I DO SUCH MISTAKES!!! I want to die!!! I HATE MYSELF!!! Please Help ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!… I am great depression!!! I ca’t forget what he did!!! what will I DO!!!

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Answer:

Although your story seems long and complicated it really is not. After pealing away all the details about moms and who said what, the simple fact is: You were raped. You did not give anything away at all. I am not a lawyer and its probably too late, but, I wish you had reported the rape to the police. Nevertheless, what you must become aware of is the simple fact that this man raped you.

There is no reason for you to believe that you have nothing to give to a future boyfriend. In this modern world there are only a tiny number of men and women who are virgins. The vast majority of people throughout the world have sex before marriage. That is a simple fact that you must know. What you have that you can give to a man whom you love: is your love and that is most important.

There is so much that you do not seem to understand about life. That is why I am recommending to you that you go to psychotherapy. If you do not go for help then you are in danger of making the same or similar mistakes.

What I really mean is that, in my opinion, you seem like a good candidate to being abused, not only sexually, but, physically and emotionally as well.

Please go for psychological help instead of waiting for God to help you. Remember the old saying: “God helps those who help themselves.”

Good Luck

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Comments
  • Janice

    What a heart rendering story. Iam so sad to hear this poor young girl was malipulated and forced to have sex with this horrible boy . But she is not on her own with this as most young girls are pesterted and conned into giving there virgintiy away, even i was . i felt like i should do it because i thought we were madley in love . After i cryed myself asleep every night for weeks thinking

    did i do the right thiing . I wasnt ready and that boy just went on to date other girls behind my back that made me feel

    dirty I lost my self asteem my trust for men even now up to one year ago. 20 years later I scutinzed every man i met I give him three months to discover him fully because most men will do everything you like just to get you to fall in love with them.

    You have to be very carefull and dont let your emotions rule your head or heart, think because it , could be a deadly trap , to gain control and make you think you cannot live or breathe without him . be lodgic if you dont like somthing tell him if he tries to persue you say no firmly and if he tries to man handle you , warn him you will have him arrested i find with men who bully by words or texts will get worse if you ignore them . but if you send a reply like come on then come here and just watch what will happen to you they back off abit but this time youl proberly be thinking is this the man for me an idiot who wants his own way .

    But be warned if you give in now and take him back . he will most definatatly do it again and this will lead to a long time of sadness even violent and terrible abuse You will suffer in the hands of these men ..

    i swear dont give them a inch. If you add up all the good things about him like is he kind thought full does he care. Then the bad things like . Hes rude , selfish talks only about himself and worst still about his family and never about you or your well being well then THink very carefully before you take it any further because if you think you can change him youwont i swear ive been through it with at least 6 guys!You will have a life of hell and wasted years of youth with him , and you will suffer deepley in slience because you feel so ashamed and let down by him.

    You dont want to tell anyone about this horrid monster you live with A wolf in disquise A devil in an angel out , youl lose all self asteem.

    Cut family and friends out your life become v depressed and even hystrical if he hits you so often you wont no where to turn and wish yourself dead every day single day, till one day you will have a full blowin mental breakdown and end up forced to seek help by a neibour or someone like a complete complete stranger .

    Dont let it go that far! just three months and you will know his true colours maybe not violent but near enough. Playing mind games like saying you said somthing bad to him but you never did at all . Making you think your crazy, hel tell you this to break you down and control your every being . You might have to date an awfull lot of frogs before you find mr right but for just 12 weeks then sitting down to think is he for me .

    Dont think do i love him i need him think does he love you but define love down say does this man really care and really want me for me myself even if your not so well and moody somtimes periods etc he should undestand this and not call you crazy, he should leave you a lone and ask if theres anything he can do to help Not putting you down and humiliating you ,noway.

    Be strong have faith becauze in the end God will be the only one left to help you, if he thinks

    you still have work on earth to do. But he cant if your to far gone. Then you will become posessed by the devil and lead to hell !!. So listen lookl and learn in your life . Always remember!!

    Before god you and only you are number one , You have to be healthy and strong in mind and body to help other People. Children ,Animals,The Homeless the poor and the weak !Just maybe a little each ,but by showing them love and kindness and somtimes firmness . They will become stronger themselves and believe they have a voice too they have a right to be here.

    You can lead them into the right direction without being to involved! Be stern but kind and see them on there journey .

    You need to be loved to and also have fun and enjoy life !Make time for your self and people you love that make you happy ,if they dont make you happy, this includes family and friends let them go but keep at arms lenghth as they will block you from your work and spiriutual growth .Goodluck sweet heart who sent her story . You dont know it but you made the first step of recovery by opening up and telling everyone of your plight on here and that means your on the mend and you can carry on your journey to find peace love and happiness.

    God bless and Take care always ..ps. I just want to point out last year i walked into my local and a man was sitting on his own when we looked into each others eyes we instantley were attracted . I Knew he was my soul mate there and then ,he knew the same. We have been dating a year and its been fabulous he loves me for me and makes me feel very special.

    He was going through a divorce and now its nearly finalized .He will get a lot of money from this and that will be a great bonus as we have worked hard all our lives so now we can relax and look forward to a nice time ahead thats if he not to foolish he loves to give and make people happy to, so I hope theres some left for us to enjoy and our families God bless Mike

    pps. You would trully know your soul mate. When you meet him you feel like god has brought you teogether and the bond feels so strong in the first instance . I never even did my 3month vetting on him because there was no need we just really felt like we belonged to each other for the rest of our lives GOD BLESS

    Last thing. Please if your a male there is no offence to you in anyway. There are good and bad people men and woman. I was telling this from my true life experiences and I had a very happy ending when i found my man .I do wish you find Happiness, Love,Hope,and Joy too !

  • Jane Macdonald

    I feel very sad for this girl but am somewhat perplexed by the reply from Dr Schwartz.I agree that she was raped and must seek help for this but to suggest that she is a good candidate for abuse either sexual or psychological in my opinion is wrong.Essentially it implies that the victim is to blame and unless they seek Psychotherapy it is likely to happen again.I do not believe that people invite bad things to happen to them.Some people are nice and some people are nasty.If people are going to act nasty they will do so regardless of whether the person they are associated with are vulnerable or assertive and strong minded.I do hope this girl can find peace within herself and realise that it is not SHE who really needs help to fix herself. It is the sorry excuse of a man who took advantage of her sexually that needs Psychiatric help.Urgently.

  • Srujan

    According to bible

    Isaiah 49:14-16
    But Zion said, "The LORD has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me." "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands your walls are ever before me."

    Dear sister, Though mother would forget the baby but Jesus will never forget you, it all happened, but Jesus will be with you according to the above verse.Jesus will comfort you

    According to bible

    Proverbs 14:32
    When calamity comes, the wicked are brought down, but even in death the righteous have a refuge.

    you are righteous, Definitely god will take you into a good position according to the above verse.

    I conclude my dear sister as you are righteous in everyrthing Jesus will wipe your tears from your eyes.I will Pray for you.Jesus will help you in everything according to the following verse.

    Revelation 21:4
    He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

    If i made you hurt from my above words... i am sorry... pls forgive me.....

    May God bless you sister abundantly.

  • Fable

    Srujan - can the godly rubbish. That's half the reason this poor girl feels so bad.

    Dr Allan, I'm way impressed with the cool, calm and logical way you handle these people who need help. Your advice is like a cool drink of water on a boiling hot day! Well done. If I needed a shrink, I'd want it to be you, LOL!

  • Rebekah

    My sweet sister.

    It is in no way your fault. You are good and innocent, and that's the best thing your future husband can hope for. Please do not despair, you are a true precious daughter of God.

  • Vinod

    Hi, My advise for you is to hold yourself first, If you believe in god then pray everyday otherwise spend time with your friends, give time to yourself. You have been betrayed but always remember life will not end here, Just think there are many girls out there who sell their flesh just to feed themselves, in same earth people dies because of hunger, many girls doesn't even get married, people get killed everyday without any reason. There are so many things happening around us I believe comparetively you are in much better position, but I believe that you must learn from this event that not to take things lightly don't trust anyone too much that he can make use of you, never. Be bold.

    And regarding your GIFT, well its all in our mind, remember it was not your fault. And if someone really loves you he will hardly care for it, instead he will support you if he won't it means he is not Mr. right.

    Love does not mean preserving yourself for your partner, it means giving hope, trust and feelings for him/her,

    Reason matters, If you are not vergin anymore does not mean you are different you have done anything wrong, If you observe there are so many biological changes that occurs in our body with the time, from our birth till we die.

    However I do understand for any girl it really matters a lot but you must learn that in our lives not all things can go as per our plan. But we can always choose to stay back or move forward.

    I believe in moving forward anyways one day everyone will die so why to loose time we have for something that is past now, something we had no control, but moving forward ALWAYS REMEMBER ONE THING THAT IS TO LEARN FORM EVERY GOOD OR BAD EVENTS OF LIFE.

    Well, I am a VERGIN GUY fairly handsome, 27 and I wanna tell you "I WOULD PREFER YOU INSTEAD OF ANY PROUDY VERGIN GIRL" for marrigae, for life-long relationship. And trust me life f*cks everyone, Surely someday he will be in soup for his attitude that day he will regret and remember your innocence, and realize what he has lost.

    I spent my childhood as a goatherder and slowly progressing today I am a software engineer without any support, and earning well and trust me life has fucked me as well. I went to some countries as well on my own and in a developing country like India it never was easy. Anyways i gave my background just to let you know that you are not alone, there are other idiots too like me who are not perfect, just give yourself time you will understand.

    One important thing if you see that guy again show him middle finger. Next time do not let anyone use you. Have some attitude.

    hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa

    So now stop thinking... go out have fun, watch some movies.

    :-)

  • Vinod

    "PURITY COMES FROM TRUTHNESS OF HEART NOT FROM FLESH(BODY)"

    He does is not understand this now but one day sooner or later he will regret for his actions.

    So, Just hold yourself and try to recover from it.

    And important thing,

    Don't die If you die what will happen to your would BoyFriends ??? Man than they have to follow you in heaven. Bad idea. 2nd Option ask some money from your parents and go out on a trip and show off that basterd(appologies) sorry, but he really is basterd*1000000000000.

    hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa

    lots of love :-)

  • VINOD

    Hi, I Want To Die!

    Well in my previous posts i mentioned i am handsome hahaha well may be not just like any other guy walking on the street. yeh, just like him. now stop giggling.

    Now please let me know If you still want to die as I have also lost my loved ones dying in my hands, seen my love going away from me, but I never had any choice. I used to be reluctant to live again but the fact was I had to stand up everytime and keep going on as I am the eldest son in my family so all responsibility is on my shoulders.

    Well I believe I can give you answer of all your questions actually I just wanna help you, I wanna give whatever I have learnt so far from this life but I find it difficult to post everything here, So may be you can just drop me an email. Remember before sending any emails just create one fake email id and use that id to contact me. So if i am not right guy then you can ignore me easily. Remember never trust anyone so easily. If intentions are good the person will understand. My Id is : misc.vinod@gmail.com

    But what I really hear from you that today I watched this movie or did this or that. And stop thing about killing yourself. We have got just one life, So make the best out of it. Rise yourself so high so, that guy regret, whenever he sees you.

    Don't beg, prove him wrong.

    "The best way to get rid of problems is to face them and solve them."

    This was the first big blow for you, like this life will show you all seasons of good and bad you cannot control the things, Sometimes it will show you heavens and sometimes you will feel like, what you are feeling now.

    It does not matter what situation you come across, How you handled that situation and lived that time that matters.

    Do not beg, just learn and make yourself so much better that one day that guy come to you and say sorry.

    Think about your parents what is their fault? You are going to do the same thing that, that guy did to you, If you die Your parents will loose faith and for rest of their lives they will keep asking WHY ??? The question you are asking now.

    "Courage is not in never falling down, It is in falling down and again rising higher everytime."

    See, you accept it or not but this is the only life we have got So why not make the best out of it.

    Go out and ask any person are you happy with your life and I can bet each one of them will come back to you with some sobbing stories. It's all in our mind, then why not we make ourselves happy.

    I SAY YOU ARE STILL VERGIN.

    Now tell me what difference it made?, One simple example Robin hood, he was a thief but still he is a hero why??? because his intentions were right. He used to steal from rich guys and used to distribute them among poors.

    So now tell me What you want to be???

    A Rich man, who is rich just because his ancestors left him all wealth or A Thief whom everyone loves???

    I have lived in may places seen many cultures, I still remember whuch herbs heal wounds and which heal temprature. In jungle I used to travel miles and miles with my grand father, then my father got job in city again I chainged myself to adjust acordingly this happened many times and now I am living in a city where no one cares about anyone. where I am living in a man made vertual world well I have adjusted here too but still I prefer going out for a walk than to sit down in front of useless computer just to earn money. Crap. anyways back on track.

    Hint: Choose Robinhood he is much smart, and handsome. Rich are usually fat and ugly.

    hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa

    So please let me know when you are dying I also need to pack my stuff, This is the first time I am going to die. And ya do not forget to eat all you like I don't know whether they have good cooks in heaven or not or may be they are just eating AIR.

    Be ready to be dead(though its not fun), and ya please drop me an email reg. the time and venue of dying.

    hahahaaaaaaaaaaa

    Lots of love VINOD

  • little smith

    Its not a big issue as far as the boy is concerned,but for a girl its certainly an issue. One does not become a bandit queen by own, it is truly the situation. Be brave and belive in the constitution, Indian consitution is really a bible for the women as I belive.

    Never be a coward in cause of right be a valiant soldier in the worlds god fight. Even if you live only for an hour, live like a queen never live like a slave for years.

    Never ever commit sucide, then you lost the game. I am also a partial beliver of judicary, no doubt there are corrupt guys crazy for money , but there are real people who are good.

    God will show them or they shall approach you.

    Take care, dont lose hope, I love you.

    Don't die. I want you.

    get the justice done.

  • Sue

    DEAR FRIEND WHO WANTS TO DIE….

    1. STOP _ You wont always feel this way !

    I read your words and I can feel your pain and feel such sad sorrow for you but I assure you, you will NOT always feel this way. Move on with your life, don’t let this experience rule and ruin your life. This is a terrible experience but you must move on from it. Learn from it. You will meet some horrible boys/people in your lifetime but you will also meet lots of nice people too. Don’t waste your time on people who upset and hurt you. Keep away from people who make you feel like ending your life!!

    2. Forget that Horrible Boy !

    Don’t ever speak to this boy again. This boy has manipulated you and abused your trust. If he comes near you, call the police. I don’t know where you are in the world but there are organisations who help women who have been abused, maybe try talking to them? Whatever you do, Don’t beat yourself up about what happened. You are still young and have lots to learn.

    3. Don’t worry about your VAGINITY

    It was taken from you so you have nothing to be ashamed and worry about. One day you will meet a good man who is right for you. One who loves you from his heart and will understand what happened if you choose to tell him everything. This man will make you happy not suicidal. You could have a happy relationship with children and who knows what else….

    4. Live DON’T DIE

    God gave you a life so live it. Bad things happen to many people in the world. Death is not your solution. Read some books, Get a job, Do some things you enjoy, Go out with your friends, make dinner for your family, try to meet lots of different people so you can learn things from them but don’t trust everybody you meet. There are lots of things to do so go do something you enjoy !! Get a haircut, buy some new clothes, learn some new skills. Look in the mirror & love yourself. Start a new life and be happy and you will meet other happy people xxxxxxxx

  • prasun bose

    i can understand you pain because i also love a girl and she never understood me because she like those guys who are you show off and playboy ,i used to love her more than me and i was ready to die for her ,for 7 years she doesn't talk to me but i still love her and think about her ,but now i realised that if you have to live happy in your life then first don't ever i mean never trust anybody ,specially guys because they want to use girls very few like me would gave his life for a girl ,i would still marry her and love if she had sex before,but for your case i just want to say that life is too short to live alone and loney ,find a guy who loves you not your body or want to have a sex with you ,,,if you find anyone like that then tell me and then i will tell you what to do next .....and for my point of view you are a very good girl not like other girls ,,,,if y ou need any help from me ...you can contact me ...my email id:-- prasun.loknath@gmail.com or akash_mehra1989@rediffmail.com.wish all the happiness in your life and try to forget all the negatives and start a new begining and let me ask you why would you hurt yourself for that bastard ,son of a bith i swear if i was friend i have ruined his marraige and beat him up.....but whatever get rid of his thought and start a new begining .....bye..

  • Adam

    You still have much to give. The fact this situation bothers you so much, means you are caring and concerned. That's it ... you care more that 99% of the people on this planet and that means you are fantastic. Keep going, some day you will meet someone good enough for you and will have great life. Until then .... keep caring

  • kriti

    plz don't die just lead a gud life and show 2 dat bastard......ful fill al u r dreams.live u r life da way u want 2 live........and one important thing is nvr entertain any guy .....guys always try 2 take advantage of galz .....life is 222 short ...just njoy dear..............go 2 new place ,make new frnds,slowly u gona forget evrything..............forgetting is da best gift given bye god......... u no i was a adopted gal and am a doc ......u no my adopted dad had raped me ....i was 24 at dat time ............i tried a lot 2 kill myself but wats da use dat bastard gona live happily ..........i had punished him and now i came 2 a new place i had adopted 2kids and now my family is completed with my kids..........its life it nvr stops just go ahead......with love kriti,............

  • Arjun

    please don't mind but you are The biggest idiot in this world. Now, i tell you the reason.

    1. god gives you mind like every human being . when that person was taking advantage then when you didn't use your mind. because in today's world girls are also so much advanced like boys.

    2. mistake can be done by any person in this world, but doesn't mean that you can play with life, i think, this is a most precious gift of God and you have no right to play with it.

    So, you just need to forget to everything with new begning. Enjoy your life, do every work with Passion.I believe that one day in your life........you will learn to smile, even on your big mistakes. BEST OF LUCK FOR YOUR NEW ENJOYBLE LIFE.

  • HIB

    YOU SHOULD BEGUIN A NEW LIFE AND FORGET ALL THE PAST THE LIFE WILL BE CONTINUE BUT YOU SHOULD BE STRONG

  • santosh haripal

    Don't kill yourself. It is the best life god has given us. think about your parents, think that how much sorrow they will feel if you die. Just leave all that non-sense and begin your new life.

  • Anonymous-1

    hmm ..i hv gone through ur story...its a thing which people dnt reaaly comes out...but u r the 1 who comes out and tell every 1 abt it..see first of all...Sex is usual nwrdays..the man which is going 2 marrry u in future he is also nt at all virgin...thus, keep diz in ur mind ...vice- versa..so, its a mistake and u regreted it ..matter is completed..go and strat up ur new life..

    GOD BLESS U..

  • khm

    please don't thing like that this mind the virginity is not a problem at all

  • Vishnu

    Don't think about past,

    Keep smiling always , every person in the world should have one mission , for u also one mission , u have to wait for that time , we don't know what is our mission or when will our mission, so just wait and do ur duty...

    me also in a big dilemma , i don't know what to do , but i have to run over it........

    Wait and see........... Keep smiling always ...........

  • vishnu

    Friend i saw some comments , i don't think they are joining with ur situation, they are joking ,

    So please Don't Trust Them

    From VISHNU

  • Anonymous-2

    He's not worth it. You should sue this guy for rape.

  • fauz

    Dear Friend,

    First of all am sorry for what happened to you, I know how much pain you suffering right now. I dont need to explain my sad story, Ive experience betrayed life. Really it pains. But keep faith in god all problems can be solved.

    I was depressed such a way thought i will never had a girl in my life,i was mentaly confused ( but couldnt loose hope knew that oneday all my problems will vanish) believe or not the right person will come on the right time. you dont have to regreat what happen to you. am still in great depression and severe anxiety, but i thank lord who gave me someone who cares about me very much and loves me with my problems.

    You dont have to loose hope, you are innocent person am sure the "right person will come on the right time", i was told like the way am telling you now be positive in your thinking, May God be with you !

  • Friend

    Hi Friend,

    Read your full story and I feel sad for the same. Just think a dog has bitten you whether u will kill the dog or kill yourself....no u will get treatment and walk away with your life. Now the guy is a dog in you life...don't loose hopes...God will always be with innocent persons...

    Even I'm also facing a worst situation in my life...we need to....Please make ur life a meaningful one....

  • arjun jose

    i don know how i can convince you..but you haven't done anything wrong..you are still that same girl in front of lord..don't think that your problem is unique...learn from the past & be bold in the future..there is still someone very special you are about to meet,who will make you feel that you were born for him..i will pray for you..you will definitely get yourself out of these weird feelings..and pray for me too..

  • Aditya

    Dear i am not a person who can explan what to do

    but i just want to say forget him and start your new life from now

    And i am so sorry from Boys side that one boys had done such a stupid thing against u

    since i also love my grls Frnd but i not Leaving him alone @ any moment but i am feeling so sorry about him

    Plzz forget him and start your new life from now

  • Franzi

    Hi to everyone,

    pleas don´t argue about my writing, i am german and i just read this helpless and depressed writing.

    So what should i say...i think sometimes in lifetime everyone stands on this point to think about: " Do i have a future!" "Can i stand this anymore!" You must find something that can help you to find out. Your Ex-Boyfrind is a fu**ing a**hole!!! He only thought about himself and didn´t think about what he do to you. I was also in love with a boy long years ago. I loved him more than everyone in the world an he cheated on me and left me after 3 years...at this point i also wanted to die...but what i did was live...okay im still depressed about what happened to me (thats just one story) but hey live goes on. The best thing you could do for him ist to cut out the life out of your veighns but then he wins!!! Do you think he really cares longer than ten minutes about? (sorry i dont want to bring you to cry but hey little Baby thats live) But you have lost everything and everyone around you (your parents, your friends etc.) will never see you again...think about the good things in life and try to grab them like their your rescueline....it will help!!!And if everythings still getting wors than consult a psychotherapist....im going there too its not that long only a few weeks but it helps to see yourself clearer....okay you are not longer a virgin but you didn´t want to do it.... in my eyes you are still a virgin in heart and i think you will find someone who sees and feels it and loves you like you are....spit on your ex he isn´t the one who worthes it!!!! And if you ever meet him again then put up your nose and pass him straight ahead...without a word and without a look....if you ignore him it will hurt him more then if you ask who said what and what happened....you are not a little girl, you are a women...you don´t have to cry about such a macho who thinks he can do everything. If nothing helps just think about that there are million women who didn´t save their virginity for the right men, who just had fun an tryed everything (i am one of them) and hey i got a husband who loves me and a great family who don´t care about my past!!! Okay it would have been nice if you could give this to the men which ist your personal univers, but do you really think he would give the same to you??? Tell me one really sexy, really intelligent and really lovely men who is a virgin...i think the number is up to 0. Keep your head up and open your mind and heart for the world...what happened to you ist very bad and it hurts me in my heart, but life goes on and you got so much beautiful things to see and to do...its just a little break and it will help you to do it otherwise next time...hope you could understand my writing and i helped a little :-)

  • Anonymous-3

    ok its not your fault. Its his. what comes around goes around.

    about the whole sex before marriage thing, he raped you.its not your fault!! please please get a councillor! I had one,help me so much! This guy sounds like an absalute freak.. and a weirdo..!

    can i ask why the hell did you carry on seing him, when you didnt like him!!!!??

    explain everything to your family they will trust you. If not move away maybe and get a career and build your own family and be happy. much peace and love.

  • Dean

    This guy you got involved is what you call a creep! these are the type of who are usually sexually repressed cant interact and socialize normally so what they do is prey on vunrable girls like you its sad really because when girls have no self esteem and are in this vunrable position, people like this freak pick up on it and use it as an opportunity all I can say is girls need to be able to recognise that people will exploit when you are at your weakest and lowest point just remember this dont be nieve.

  • Solarini genni

    i m realli depressed hearing ur situation u no once u fall in love u for get evrything> i m a black magician nd i no wat comes around goes around see u did mistake god forgived u . now u shud forgive ur self rewind ur life to the point wan u were the expectation of al. he iz a fucker n asshole > he will deserve wat he needs to just wait nd watch bt if u feel like dying jst think once y iz god keepin u alive nd y ur disobeying him> trust me go to rehabilation go for the bible keep hope dunt sit idol be mixed up wid gud people learn sumthing new nd u wll see wat happened hapeened nd itz new begiinning now

  • Anonymous-4

    please don't ruin your life for him.

    I know wht u r feeling, i belong to same culture where u want to share just with ur husband.

    but trust me it is not a big thing(i know it is easy to say)

    things happen and u need to learn, that is what life is.

    trust me a day will come when very bad will happen with him.

    don't be stressed and depressed.please.

    talk to me if u ever want to.my e-mail address is chandnia@yahoo.ca

  • suhu

    hey girlie.. donot get depressed thinking about what he did to you and you life.. i know its extremly difficult to accept such harsh reality that has happened to you but even then DONOT GIVE UP.. Why do you want to take your life for the sin you never committed?? why do you want to make yourself so weak and miser? you were not at fault.. you know it very well.. so why are you indulging in self hatred and self harm?? wake up girl.... i can very well relate to your story.. i have been through the same crisis and thought of suicide many times.. i still experience flash backs , and ups and downs in my mood but i have now developed an attitude to NEVER GIVE UP.. i would hit this life the harder if it hits me again.. we have to enjoy the small little things that life has blessed us with and move forward... why let our past rent space in our heads yar?? you are still the same old girl that you were before you lost your virginity.. so donot worry .. just collect some courage and start moving up the ladder.. you will fall .. many times.. but donot stop making efforts.. because success in is our minds, in our beliefs.. we are born to win.. and spread cheers around..

    good luck.. !! have faith.. you will get out of this.. ! :-)

  • Joseph Abraham

    Dear..

    I'm glad that you confessed what you've done or else if you would have kept this in mind and had troubled your heart on this issue it would have lead to many problems and even illness.

    Because Jesus is a loving God and never remembers our mistakes he is always there to love us no matter who we are. He always encourages us to start a new life with him waiting upon his measureless love and because i had a similar situvation i will encourage you , God is the only person who can comfort us.

    Have Faith in yourself and God,confess to him ALL your sins and have no point of guilty in your heart cause Jesus had already died for your's and my sin's at the cross 2000 years ago.You just need to accept him as your lord and God into your life.He will give you peace and restore your happiness that no one through any comments or materials can give you.

    I will pray for you.Don't worry.Let us not lead our lifes anymore in our wish but give it to Jesus's hand's and he will give you the BEST."What we think the GOOD is always the enemy of the BEST".JESUS is the Best.

    Dr. Dombeck's Note: Living in a multicultural world as we do (where people from very different backgrounds live side by side and interact to a reasonable extent) some may be very comforted and validated by an evangelic message like this, while others will find it to be irritating and invalidating. It seems to me that either response could be reasonable.

  • vivek

    Dear,

    Nothing is true in this world not even our parents all the stuffs we are facing in this world are just because of what we have done in last life's and remember nothing remains.

    change is the biggest true. so, just try to recover. time is the biggest medicine. God helps only those who helps themselves.

  • Anonymous-5

    He raped you and you can still go to the police about it. Take him down! you are letting this male get away with murder and he is going to breed and live freely. Unmask his ugliness. How many other girls have suffered him? Master manipulator, its disgusting and common. I've seen and heard men in action. Dont be another stupid female..

    And talk to your parents.

  • paradise.

    dont kill ur self .. ..i knw its tough to live lyk ds....bt beleive in god and his justice...hell is waiting hor him.. god bless.....

  • kash

    HEY DEAR I wuld just like to advce u that lve evry thng in the hands of god,he is the watcher of evry thng vic is seen aS wel as unseeen,u was honest n iinocent frm ur side,plz continue wth yr living,dnt loose ur hope of life n cocentrate in your work,DONT FORGET TO PRAY,else lve evry thngs in the hands of god,the truth vil cume walking towards you,keeeeeep praying dear.ALL THE BEST.

  • Anonymous-6

    See every body says god is there and god will look after you and all non sences

    Remember ur not handicapped or nor mental nor u have any disabilities , god has given you every thing,, you are beautifull and intelligent and educated after having every thing why cant you react to what he did ,, you give it tit for tat you are human , you have brain use it , and show him what u are , i am sure he will come back to you, then kick on his ass

    tell him he that ur not fit to be a man ,, show him that u have a better person in ur life then that beggar

    i dont know where u stay or where he stays or i would have shown him the picture of life if u have any information about him please pass it to me i will teach him a lesson i will never reveal ur name its a promise i dont beleive in god, for me my parents are god as they made took care of me and gave birth, swear on them i will not reveal ur name but will teach him a leasson my mail id is rajan_6077@yahoo.com or call me on 9703396939 okk remember ur the best ,, that u ur hear out of so many million eggs from ur moms womb take care my friend all the best..

  • pranab sen

    hi.. my friend.u r so innocent thats ur problem..be confident about yourself.there r lots of people who cares for you..your parents,your friends.never give up.life is about challenge.grab ur challenge.show everyone u can live joyfully...i ve same problem which u r faceing now.my girlfriend cheated me.she dont love me anymore.we had 3 yr long reletion.when she left me i cried so much.i tried to die.but i failed.then one of my friend told me life is beautiful dont destroy it.just take it as a challenge.

    so my friend just do ur work.death is not a solution.take revenge through ur sucess.....and we ll win...its a time to have patience and hope.

  • Summer

    Think of it as bad dream. you won't even know how quickly time went by. Indulge yourself in hobbies like gardening,camping. . . . Travel. . .

    Things like this can happen to anyone. Set emotions apart. Think what would you like to do,look beautiful, do shopping.You're sweetheart!!! God bless you

  • Ree

    Do u really think he is worth u ?????????? I dont say all but most of the guys are like that. I know wht kind of trauma you must be going thru , i myself had a breakup after 5 yrs. You must be brave. THink of atleast one nice thing abt the guy , a very genuine one . You will definitely not find any , there is nothing gud abt the guy. No point of htinking abt him . Trust me ur heart is clean and God knows it , you need not answer anyone.And as to what happened to you , you were only a victim so do not think you made any mistake. Its so cheap of that guy to behave like that. Leave it . GOD knows how to deal with tht guy . He will pay for wht he did to u . DOnt worry . u will see it all .

    What you can do is , to maintain a very busy schedule . after sometime u will realise it was foolish of u to think abt death . see god has given u everything, there are so many people who are orphans , disabled, who lead a very lonely life, go and see u will realise ,u are leading a much better life, u shud be happy for wht u r . ur probs will be very small in front of theirs. You will get confidence to live after seeing them , trust me , do this go visit any rehab centre or any orphanage , spend some time there, share ur love with people who have no one to love, see the kind of love theyshow on u , its cent percent genuine. You will definitely lead a awesome life. God bless u . Please let me know how r u now. as mentioned i think this issue happened almost a yr back . Let me know how r u now , did u cope up from ur past.

  • priya

    Anything can go wrong before one gets wedded. One can set right their life and move on with a decision that they would never ever get into any trap like this again. But if things gets messed up after marriage, it is a nightmare. some celebrity had taken me for a ride. I am already married, have a kid. Its a lovely family life I am into. This man comes all the way luring me and talking to me. With the general fancy of associating myself with him I was also quite excited. I did not realise that his intentions were bad. He kept interacting with me putting me at so much ease. He wanted to meet up with me just to chat, pretending to be a good friend. Finally at the meeting gets physically close kissing me all over and trying to do some crap. I had to really push him away and stop him. Though I did that after he left, I felt very uncomfortable. He never spoke to me after that and I was messaging him constantly to speak to me. Before, the event it was he who was messaging me like anything but after the event I was driven mad. As I suspected, he had told a common friend of ours that I was after him and he had to stop me! She told me that this is his pass time, he chases girls until they get closer to him after which he will move away. He finds some thrill in that. But why did he have to try that with me who is in a married life and make me mad. He is also married but he does not have a child yet.

  • Anonymous-7

    I really can't give you any religious advice since I'm atheist, but I can say that your really strong! You have been through all of that and you haven't killed yourself! I know that sounds sarcastic, but I mean it as a compliment. You're awsome! And that guy is awful... But I really admire you!

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