Need help breaking free from addiction?
Call 24/7 for treatment options. Who Answers?

Abuse Warning Signs


i have been single for 7 years now after an abusive marriage of 17 years. i am 43 years old and getting tired of being alone. but i am afraid of ending up in another relationship that is also abusive. so i was wondering if there are any tell tale warning signs that someone may be abusive. don’t want to end up in that again

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
  • Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
  • ‘Anne’, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. ‘Anne’ and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

I’m not entirely sure that there are reliable warning signs that abuse will occur. Certainly as you move forward, you will want to avoid men who remind you of the men you’ve previously left for being abusive, or who have abused you in the past. It would be a good idea to specifically look for men who are have a gentle manner about them, who are not rigid, or terribly opinionated, or dominant in terms of their personalities. It would also be a good idea to avoid men who come across as polished and who try to sweep you off your feet. Men who are particularly skilled at seduction may not have your best interests at heart. Keep in mind that some anti-social types have little conscience and are skillful at appearing to be exactly what your heart desires, and only later reveal themselves to be controlling monsters. Watch out for this sort of shark, but don’t let the idea that there are sharks in the water keep you from swimming. Whatever precautions you take, there will always be risk that you will make a mistake. When and if you feel you’ve been abused in a new relationship, get out of that that relationship. Don’t let the guy sweet talk you out of your resolve. Good luck.

More "Ask Anne" View Columnists


Call the Helpline Toll-FREE

To Get Treatment Options Now.

1-888-993-3112 Who Answers? 100% Confidential

Get Help For You or a Loved One Here...

Click Here for More Info.


Call The Toll-FREE Helpline 24/7 To Get Treatment Options Now.

100% Confidential
Get Treatment Options From Your Phone... Tap to Expand