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Abused Wife

Question:

I am married for the last 8 years. My husband and I both have problems (he has low sperm count and I have PCOs) and hence there is no child from this marriage. My husband is obsessed with his family (his parents are dead, it is his brother, sister-in-law and aunt). They have created lots of problems for me but he refuses to acknowledge. They and he treat me as a non-entity. I am qualified and have a good job. There have been several instances when I walked out of the house but came back because I love him. He and his family hate my parents and constantly insult them (I am their only child). Moreover he is very suspicious of me, he thinks that I have a loose character. I am now at the end of my tether. There has been a lot of physical abuse. I have also turned violent and tried to commit suicide. I am utterly confused. I think I should walk out as the marriage is loveless. My husband does not care about my mental state. My blood pressure has been very high and I am in a state of near nervous breakdown. Could you please help me?

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
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Answer:

It is clear from your letter that you are in an abusive marriage that is destructive to your health and safety. I urge you to seek support in your plight. It may be helpful for you to have someone to talk with outside your family. If there are opportunities for you to seek counseling, either with a therapist or counselor, religious leader, or friend, you should consider taking advantage of them. If you are seriously considering leaving your marriage, it will be helpful for you to have at least a minimal plan worked out for how you will live prior to leaving your husband. You may wish to consider options (returning to your family’s home, finding an independent apartment). That you have a job is good as this will help you with income and with keeping stable structure to your life. Life is very hard when those around you don’t love and respect you. Please seek council and support outside your abusive home life so that you can find the best path towards a better life.

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