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Alone Time

Question:

Is it healthy for a partner in a relationship to require some time alone just for theirselves

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
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Answer:

In a word: Yes. Romantic songs and poetry often emphasizes the ‘immersive’ aspect of love where one loses him or herself in passionate desire and need for their partner. However, too much of this just becomes dependency, needyness or jealousy and isn’t healthy. The opposite extreme of independence, where one needs alone time all the time isn’t healthy either as it doesn’t allow for the couple to come together, bond, and experience the joy and trust of love. The ideal relationship is often said to be one where partners are able to be both dependent on each other, and at the same time, able to pursue independent interests.

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