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Am I Controlling ?

Question:

Ok, I have a long distant relationship with a person I have meet on the Internet. We talk every night on Skype and he is supposed to come and be with me. However, due to his job he cancelled his pending trip and its now delayed. Everything is going fine but, in my mind, I can’t help but feel that he lies to me about certain things. I have never caught him in a lie but I just feel that way. He left for a weekend trip 3 weeks back and he tried really hard to contact me this week. He left again with the same people but I felt like he did not try as hard to let me know what was happening. He takes forever to text me back and I don’t know what to think?

Am I creating this non existing issue in my mind? Its fair to say I am going through a divorce and I have a soon to be one year old child. I was over-weight but lost all of it. I am younger than he is. I am in my 20s and he is in his 50 s . Am I over thinking this? How can I stop myself from doing this? I love him and he claims to love me. I want to build a life with him, I really do, but I am scared that he will abandon me like my ex husband did. Please help me!

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Answer:

It is always a good thing for a person to listen to their “gut instinct.” This is someone you know over the Internet and while you Skype with him, you do not really know him. In addition, it does seem as though he is avoiding you. After all, why should he take a long time to text you back.

You should also keep in mind that there is something called “the rebound effect.” That means that, after breaking up with or divorcing someone, it’s best to take time to adjust until life settles once again. In other words, why get involved now when you are not even divorced as yet? You also have a one year old child. That means that you need to think of the child every bit as much as you need to think of your needs. You also say you are in love with this man. How do you know? It’s far too soon. Don’t jump “from the frying pan into the fire,” as is often said when considering an important decision. Basically, it’s possible that you are being impulsive.

Lastly is the fact that you are a young woman. This man is much older. You want a future with him but how much of a future can you have with someone who is thirty years older than you?

Listen to your own inner voice, your doubts and suspicions. By the way, long distance relationships often do not work out.

Give yourself plenty of time.

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