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Angry Mom

Question:

My mother sometimes seems unhappy or frustrated with me. It’s complicated for me to figure out. I think to myself she’s probably stressed out from her job or something of the sort. I am not paranoid but it seems she specifically in a foul mood with me. It’s strange because she does not act this way with my younger brother really at all or really anyone else for that matter. I almost want to say she is channeling her frustrations on me. I really don’t like this at all. In her brain she probably feels she has reason in her mind to do this to me probably because of all the stress I have caused her in the past. But that is the key word past. Because maybe the past month I’ve been trying real hard not to irritate her and must say that I’ve been doing good at not bothering her. But she always got an attitude when she speaks to me. I’ve done nothing to bother her in way shape or form. But maybe because of the crap I’ve done in the past it justifies that it’s alright to still be mad at me? I really would like some advice

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Answer:

In any relationship, with any person or persons, you are first known by your reputation. How you treat other people gets remembered and becomes part of how those people expect you to act towards them in the future. Further, when people feel that you have treated them unfairly they hurt inside. Frequently, those feelings of hurt will turn into persistent anger. Once this happens, it is not enough that you stop acting in hurtful ways. You must also make reparations for the hurt you have inflicted. If your mother is a bank, you are an overdrawn borrower. No more ‘money’ will be available to you until you pay back both what you have borrowed as well as interest on the loan.

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p> There are a few practical things to do here. First, apologize to your mother for the wrong things you’ve done to her. Second, apologize again, and this time mean it in your heart. Third, treat her with respect and dignity as you go forward. Finally, allow enough time to pass for her anger to heal up, and for your new respectful ways to become her new expectation of your relationship.

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