I have anxiety when it comes to sex. I want to preform better and longer for my woman but I’m always too quick. I don’t like that and not sure what I need to do not to feel so anxious about sex.
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The problem you are referring to is called premature ejaculation. While any man can experience this problem from time to time, it is when it’s presistent that it’s a problem. It appears that you experience this problem all too often. It leaves you and your woman very frustrated.
It is not known what causes premature ejaculation although there are many theories from the psychological to the biological. That it is why it’s usually treated with a combination of medical and psychological approaches. For example, there are those who suspect that it has to do with serotonin in the brain. Serotonin is what is a neurotransmitter and is a brain chemical that has a lot to do with feelings of pleasure. On the other hand, it’s thought that, for some men, premature ejaculation may have been somehow learned or conditioned into becoming a problem.
It is unlikely that anxiety is the cause of your problem although it most certainly complicates it. What I mean is that, having experienced it once or twice, you then became anxious about performing. Of course, now you are anxious everytime you want to perform.
Whatever the causes, it is thought that at least one out of five men experience this sexual dysfunction. It can happen to anyone at any age in life.
The first thing you need to do is to speak with your primary care physician. Because there are medical issues that can be at the root of the problem you need his guidance about what to do next. He may refer you to a neurologist to do further tests. There are medications that can be used to help relieve this problem. If you are prescribed medication, you will still need to see a therapist who can help you with this issue. A behavioral or licensed sex therapist would be best.
The next thing you need to do is see a licensed sex therapist or behavioral psychologist. The therapist can teach you and your woman many things that can be done to overcome this problem. For example, it is sometimes advised that the man masturbate two to three hours prior to having sex on the theory that, having done so, the male will feel somewhat desensitized and better able to perform. Another strategy is, after having prematurely ejaculated, you and your partner have sex again, also on the assumption that the male is desensitized and better able to perform.
However, it is better that you be seen by your medical doctor and a therapist than going by any article or email regardless of how good or accurate it may be. This problem causes lots of emotional turmoil which is why I urge you to start with medical help.
Best of Luck