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Big Boyfriend

Question:

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for eight months now. He was big when i started dating him, and i don’t mind that at all. I love him for him, not because of his size. However, since we have dated he has gained a lot of weight and i am concerned about his health. He told me last time he went to the doctor, the doctor said he had way high cholesterol and blood pressure. How do i tell him I’m concerned about his health without hurting his feelings or making him feel like i am criticizing him?

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  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
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Answer:

Being so overweight that you have high blood pressure and high cholesterol is serious business. It can literally mean the difference between living and dying. I don’t think you should pull punches here. If you love this guy and want him to lose weight and exercise so as to improve his health and not for superficial reasons, simply tell him that. That is a very loving thing to say. Most people out there won’t care whether he lives or dies, and if you do, that is saying something very significant. If he gets all ashamed, that doesn’t change the facts. If you really love him, you can offer to help support him in his weight control efforts, which should include both diet and regular physical exercise. This website has some good articles on both losing weight, and developing an exercise program that you might point him towards for example. You can offer to diet with him, and exercise with him. But either way, don’t hold back out of fear of embarrassing him.

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