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My husband is 37 and has a drinking problem. But this is the problem. He forgets when he drinks. He does not drink everyday, maybe a couple of times a week. He used to drink everyday. But he wrecked his car and has no way of going now. He does not care about anything right now. He knows he has a drinking problem but here later he swears that he is not drinking. You can tell he is drinking. I don’t know what to do. I need to know is this a mental problem or something to do with the drinking? Please help me with some answer.

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While it is not possible to do a diagnosis online it is possible to provide you information that can guide you. Therefore, and based in the brief information that you have provided, it is my opinion (remember, this is an opinion) and likely, that your husband’s symptoms are the result of drinking.

Some of the classic symptoms of alcoholism are: 1. Blackouts, 2. Not remembering after having done a lot of drinking whether or not there was a blackout, 3. Starting to drink in the morning or early afternoon, 4. Feeling depressed, 5. Demonstrating anger when drinking is discussed, 6. Auto accidents and accidents of all types, such as falling, 7. Tremors, 7. Outburst of anger, rage and abusive behavior, and many more types of symptoms.

A person does not need to have all of the symptoms in order for there to be a serious drinking problem present. The point is that your husband seems to have many of these problems.

What can you do?

This question is painful to think about. However, it is important to know that the only thing family can do is to point out the drinking problem to the loved one and urge them to go for help. If the loved one refuses to go for help and their behavior continues to be dangerous to their health and the health of the family, then the possibility of separation must be faced. This cannot be a manipulation in the hopes of scaring the spouse into getting help. It has to be very serious. Ultimately, if separation does not work in stopping the drinking then divorce must result. None of us can force another individual to stop drinking. The drinker must take responsibility for their drinking.

Kinds of Help:

There is always the traditional Alcoholics Anonymous meetings to go to. There are also detox and rehab alcohol and drug center that is usually paid for by private insurance, at leas, to a certain extent. There is now medication treatment. There are a couple of prescription medications that have been used successfully to people feel free of craving alcohol and more easily stop drinking. I would recommend psychotherapy along with this. These types of medicines can be prescribed by a family physician or a psychiatrist.


You cannot force your husband to stop drinking. If he completely refuses to do anything to stop himself then it is up to you to protect your self and your life.

Best of Luck

More "Ask Dr. Schwartz" View Columnists

  • Cathy


    I have blackouts. My family just accepts them as normal behavior for me. I am very reluctant and tyrannical about discussions regarding this behavior. I know I am an alcholic. I have been to A.A. and it just makes me want to drink talking about drinking. I feel depressed. I want to be successful in life. I am in college and I have a 3.9/4.0. But, I do drink: the night before an exam, if I have an early class, or if I'm stressed out about a teacher. I does not seem to matter for school. The problem is that I am not happy. And, I do not care about anything else since I started school. I feel like I traded high risk behavior as fullfillment for a challenge with getting A's. It is like a new high. I took "a" psychology class, and "positive" behavior is not recognized as destructive. But what if it is just a replacement?

    One might think...well this seems to be working out!...well, I'm 32 and still just as crazy, just about my grades instead.

    What is my problem?

  • Allan N. Schwartz, PhD

    I will try to answer your question under "Ask Dr. Schwartz." Please look there. In addition, I suggest you join our Online Support Community.

  • Anonymous-1

    Have been a happy drinker for years, but recently have turned to binge drinking and go out of control, as my friends say hero to zero - in minutes, thereafter have no clue.

    any ideas?


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