Need help breaking free from addiction?
Call 24/7 for treatment options. Who Answers?

Bosom Buddies


Hi. How do you know if your hubby is bi or gay? He has a friend and they play guitars and sing..they get totally into each other and forget anybody else is around…hubby took me to the ocean for a romantic weekend..he called his friend 4 times while we were there! Everywhere we go, camping, anything! this guy has to be invited. There is never any couple time that doesn’t involve him…I’ve tried talking to hubby but he gets mad and defensive. Any advice?

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
  • Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
  • ‘Anne’, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. ‘Anne’ and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

It’s funny. Most women I know wish their husbands or boyfriends had more good male friends. I understand here, however, that the degree of intimacy between your husband and his friend is excessive, and that the fact that he spends little or no private time with you is disturbing. It seems quite normal to me that you’d be jealous and hurt and feeling that the situation is a bit odd. I don’t think there is enough information in your letter to begin speculating about your husband’s sexuality, but it is safe to say that he is not being a good partner to you in your heterosexual relationship. Basically, he has withdrawn from you and is acting like a bachelor. A married couple ideally should be partners in sexual, emotional and social senses, and your relationship is not meeting up to this standard. My advice is my standard advice: take the two of you to marriage counseling please. You can’t talk with him without him getting defensive. A marriage counselor may be able to better facilitate communication between you both. Good luck.

More "Ask Anne" View Columnists


Call the Helpline Toll-FREE

To Get Treatment Options Now.

1-888-993-3112 Who Answers? 100% Confidential

Get Help For You or a Loved One Here...

Click Here for More Info.


Call The Toll-FREE Helpline 24/7 To Get Treatment Options Now.

100% Confidential
Get Treatment Options From Your Phone... Tap to Expand