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Confidence Problem


I am a 21 year old college student. I have a confidence problem. My grades are poor and I can’t seem to find my niche. I have recently stopped using drugs and hope my mood will improve. I am told very often that I am an attractive guy but never date. I rarely smile and my father says I’m “vanilla” – bland. I know that no one will love me until I love myself, so how can I start feeling confident and go out and get the life I want rather than waiting for it to fall into my lap? Thanks Doctor.

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  • Dr. Dombeck responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
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Get some social support. I recommend the twelve step fellowship for your former drug of choice (which may be Narcotics Anonymous, or Alcoholics Anonymous). “Stick with the winners” when you get there (Stay away from people who relapse), and attend meetings regularly. After a while, get involved in running the meetings. This will accomplish two things for you: 1) it will get you out and interacting with other people. You’ll be able to form friendships and have success experiences (small ones count very much!). 2) It will help you to stay sober. A past drug problem, and a present confidence problem are a setup for a relapse to using drugs again if you don’t take precautions. You can have a bright future ahead of you, but you will be greatly aided by the support of others in making it come true.

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