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Am I Depressed?

Question:

I am 22 years old and I am married and have two children. My husband works full-time and goes to school full-time so I am home with the children all day everyday. I was never sad all the time like I am now. My sadness started ever since we bought a house with my uncle and we are living with him and my cousin. My uncle and cousin are great people but I just want to live on my own and be my own family. Another thing that makes me sad all the time is that my husband is never home. He never spends time with us and I know he would rather be with us than be at school or work but I just can’t take it sometimes. I never want to hurt myself but I feel sad all the time and cry. Most of the time I cry myself to sleep. Is this really depression?? I just want to be happy and enjoy life and I would like to enjoy it with my husband I hate it when he comes home and I’m sad like this, its enough he has a hard day everyday.

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Answer:

Hi young mom,

It is possible that you are experiencing some depression. Clearly, there are a number of things that are troubling you. Among these problems are:

1. Being home with the two children all day and everyday,
2. Having to share your home with your uncle and cousin even though you love them,
3. Your husband never being home because he works all day and attends school at night.

1. It is difficult to be home alone with the children all day. You need to find ways to get out of the house and talk to other adults. The fresh air will do you good. There are groups of young mothers who meet, share baby sitting time and take the opportunity to speak to and go out with the other moms.

2. No one is comfortable having to share their home with relatives regardless of how much they are loved. You and your husband are a young couple and need time to have privacy. I am sure that your uncle and cousin feel like intruders even though you wish it did not feel that way. I do not know the solutions to this problem. Perhaps there is no solution until your husband finishes school, gets a better paying job and you can afford a home of your own.

3. You and your husband are like many young couples who are working hard to build a better future for your selves. This is commendable but the two of you must find time to be together away from work, home and children. Your uncle appears to be a built in baby sitter for now. Why not use him to watch the kids while you and your husband go out and have some private and romantic time together?

Lastly, it is probably a good idea for you to speak to a therapist to help you learn how to cope with your situation and feel better. You may not need medication at all but just someone professional to talk to.

I can really understand your feeling bad. At present, your life sounds lonely and isolated, yes, even with the children. Children are wonderful, But, even Moms need to find time for themselves, to go out, socialize, have some fun and be away from the kids for a while.

I really want to encourage you to try these suggestions.

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