Need help breaking free from addiction?
Call 24/7 for treatment options. Who Answers?

Dealing With Divorce


I am a 19 year old whose parents have recently divorced. I have 2 younger brothers 18, and 11. I was wondering if you have any advice or general steps that children can go through to help them talk about and work through their parents divorce.

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
  • Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
  • ‘Anne’, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. ‘Anne’ and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

There are few things harder to deal with than your parent’s divorce. Divorce cuts at the very roots of your feelings of security. I don’t know exactly what a professional would recommend in terms of what to do first vs. second in this case. However, one thing is abundantly clear from my experience: talking about the divorce and the feelings it generates openly and honestly and as fearlessly as can be managed is what will make the difference between healing and not healing. Frequently, divorcing parents are not separating on the best of terms. Sometimes parents’ anger is expressed by one parent putting down the other. This is particularly bad for the children who need to be able to love both of their parents. For this reason try speaking with someone who is not taking sides with one or the other parent (a counselor, a trusted family member or a friend) as well as to your parents. Talk about the divorce, and your feelings towards the divorce and how it is changing your lives. Good Luck!

More "Ask Anne" View Columnists


Call the Helpline Toll-FREE

To Get Treatment Options Now.

1-888-993-3112 Who Answers? 100% Confidential

Get Help For You or a Loved One Here...

Click Here for More Info.


Call The Toll-FREE Helpline 24/7 To Get Treatment Options Now.

100% Confidential
Get Treatment Options From Your Phone... Tap to Expand