My boyfriend of one year recently told me that he cannot put up with the emotional strain that I put on our relationship. I suffer from depression, and I used to be on Zoloft, but I stopped taking it because it was expensive. I tried to explain to him that our relationship might work if I go back to counseling and start taking the Zoloft again. Yet, he says that he has given our relationship as many chances as he can. We had good times, and my emotional outburst were just about the only problem. I was just wondering if I should try to contact him once I am getting better? Or should I just go on and never let him know how I am when I do get better. I am afraid that he isn’t giving me a chance to actually get better. He has not seen how I am when I am taking the Zoloft. He has only seen me in my depressed state.
- ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
- ‘Anne’, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. ‘Anne’ and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
I don’t see any harm in contacting your former boyfriend once you start feeling better. At least you won’t be left with asking yourself what if… That will also give him some time to think and sort out his feelings. Maybe if he has done some thinking, he will view the situation differently…it will also give him some time to miss you!!! When and if you decide to contact him in the future, I suggest you take things slow. First try and win back his friendship before anything else…let him get to know the real, non-depressed you. Give him a chance to see for himself that you’ve gotten better. He may be one of those individuals that must see it to believe it. Invite him to dinner or some other activity that will allow the two of you to interact. If he still refuses to give your relationship a second chance once you are feeling better, then I suggest you move on. Dwelling on the past will only make you feel worse. Hope things work out, – Anne