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Dianne Writes:

Question:

Dear Anne, I need help! I feel lost and lonely. My marriage seems like it’s lost. I have two children — one is 15 and the other is 11. They are very active children. I am working two jobs and feeling very tired. It seems like nothing is ever for myself, just everyone else. My husband only works one part-time job.

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  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
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Answer:

The first question on my mind is why does your husband only work part-time? It seems as if you are contributing more to the marriage than he is. I hope this is not the case. Reciprocity is an essential characteristic of any relationship! Does your husband know how you feel? I suggest letting your husband your feelings. I agree. Raising children can be very demanding…especially if you are doing it alone. It sounds as though you’re in a slump. When you have many responsibilities your time seems like it is not your own. You have described three roles you must fill: wife, parent, and professional/career woman. You may be able to bring things a little more into perspective if you look at these three roles separately. Is your marriage happy? There is no way you can fix a troubled marriage on your own. If you unhappy, you must let your husband know. Let him know that you need him to take on more responsibility. The two of you should work together. Secondly, ask yourself if there is anything that could be done to make parenting a little easier for you? Teenagers can be very difficult, but they are also at an age where they embrace independence. Take advantage of this. Are you happy with your job(s)? Again, this is where talking to your husband can benefit. If he is willing to take on a full-time job, then perhaps you could cut down on some of your hours. Hope that was helpful! – Anne

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Comments
  • winnie matos

    So sorry you are lost and lonely. But if you are able to articulate this to yourself, and even seek help, you are ready to analyse your flattened situation and find a door out. How long have you been in this? 5 years? 10? Don't waste any longer but start taking action. We should only move forward in a responsible and caring way but you are clearly that person. As soon as you see the door you will be ready to go. Good luck!

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