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Did My Husband Cheat?

Question:

I have been married for 15 years and have always trusted my husbands fidelity until recently. Two days after a very bad argument, he left for 3 days. He did not tell me where he was going and did not call the entire time he was gone. When he returned, I saw by the shopping he had done that he had been in Las Vegas. He never discussed the weekend with me and I did not question him about it. A couple of weeks passed when I discovered our phone bill and a charge card bill torn up and in the trash. On the phone bill were three long distance calls made during the evening hours the day after our fight. On the charge card bill was an airline ticket that he had purchased to fly someone to Vegas to join him and hotel room charges. When I confronted him about the airline ticket and who the person was, he told me it was a marriage counselor. Well, as you can imagine, I was shocked because he has always said that he would never see a marriage counselor. Not to mention the curious facts that the calls were made to this “counselors” home number during the evening hours and not to the office. What kind of counselor would allow a patient to buy their airline ticket and hotel accommodations. It was a $2,000.00 dollar expense. This person does not even live in the same state as us but in our hometown state. My question is, should I call this person myself-I have the name and number from the phone bill-since every time I ask him to discuss with me what the “counselor” had to say to him he tells me he does not want to discuss it with me. He absolutely refuses to tell me anything about it. I need your opinion and your advice on how to find out if he is telling the truth or not. The story is so ludicrous and my gut feeling is that he had a weekend fling. This all happened two months ago and there have been no long distance calls made to this person since. Please help.

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Answer:

I agree that the circumstances are suspicious and the circumstantial evidence would seem to scream out, “affair”. However, nothing can be proven based on circumstantial evidence. The only real way to figure it all out would be for your husband to come clean and he doesn’t seem to want to do this. This is an unfortunate situation for it would seem to compromise how much you can trust him. Maybe the question isn’t “is he telling the truth or not”, but instead is, “will it help me to know the truth”. If you do become ‘sure’ that your husband had an affair or not, what would you do differently than you might do right now? Will that help you to trust him again? Ask yourself if knowing what occurred would help things or make them worse. Sometimes digging for details magnifies problems, other times it helps in the working through process. You can call the number if you want, but I wonder if it will help the situation. It is your husband who you have to work things out with, not the person at the other end of that telephone number.

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