I’m a 21 year-old who has been through a lot of abuse in life. My family is extremely religious and controlling. I have met this guy who is not of my religion, and we have fallen in love. If my family finds out, they will never forgive me; they would see it as a betrayal to what they have taught me. Not to mention that he is not in the category they would deem acceptable. I am no longer willing to be controlled and be told what to do. Those years are over. My boyfriend feels very bad about the situation. What is the best way to deal with this without letting this wonderful man slip out of my life or losing my family for good?
- ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
- ‘Anne’, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. ‘Anne’ and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
You are basically stuck in the middle. If you love him so much, then I say don’t let him go. If you haven’t already talked to your parents yet, then do so. Explain to them that people can’t help who they fall in love with. Try to make them see your side. Tell them how you fell in love with him. Make them see him for who he is, rather than what religion he is. Try to understand their side as well. Make sure you present your situation in such a way, so that your parents do not see your actions as rebellious. Perhaps if your parents see what you see in him, they will love him too. Hopefully things can be worked out without you having to choose between them. For now, try talking to your parents, and go from there. Hope things work out, – Anne