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Distant

Question:

I have been married for three years. Initially things between my wife and me were good, but for the last few months we don’t seem to have anything to say to each other. When we are at home, we either watch TV or do something on the computer. Even when we go out, there are very few things we say to each other. This silence has resulted in both of us feeling lonely and depressed. Yet, no matter how hard I try, the situation doesn’t seem to be getting better. Please advise.

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  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
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Answer:

It is not uncommon for couples to encounter a lull in their relationship. Usually when we get sucked into routines out lives can become very mundane. Has work been especially time-consuming for either of you? Perhaps whatever is causing this problem is something transitory… Is your wife aware of this isolation? Try shaking things up a bit and trying something new. Make reservations at a new restaurant, order take-out and rent a movie instead of playing computer games, go to the park, a museum, or the zoo. New experiences will provide topics of conversation for the both of you. Also, try planning events in advance so that you’ll have something to anticipate (and perhaps talk about). Don’t write off your marriage just yet. You just need to find something help you break out of your routine. Best of luck to you, – Anne

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