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Drifting Apart?

Question:

I’ll try and be short and to the point. I have been married for 16 years to a wonderful man that I love very deeply. In the past year I am feeling like my husband and I are growing apart. He seems so depressed and sad all the time and when I try to find out what is wrong with him he just says “I don’t know”. I’m having a real problem with this. I’ve asked him if he still loves me and he says “why would you ask a question like that.” I’m so confused that I don’t know what to do. I cry all the time and I myself am so depressed that everyday life things are very hard for me to do. I even called in sick to work today to see if I could figure something out. Also, we have a 9 year old son who is always asking “mommy what’s wrong, why are you sad”. This can’t go on. I’m loosing my mind and it’s also affecting our son. Sure hope you can help or at least lead me in the right direction. Thank you.

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  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
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Answer:

The right direction is for you to seek professional help – with your husband if he is willing. You both sound depressed to me. I think you are correct that this will continue to affect your son until it is resolved. If you can, tell your husband that you both need to get to see a marriage counselor and then do what you need to do to get both of you there. Also, go to see your doctor and discuss your depression with him or her. Ask your husband to see his doctor about his depression too. Good Luck, – Anne

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