I have been with the same man for 3 yrs. I am divorcee with 3 kids. We broke up for six months and have been back together for 8 months. On Feb 14 he gave me an engagement ring, and after that things changed. He got violent and jealous of my friend. He threw something at me and hit me with it. Now I am having trouble getting close and forgiving him. I want to leave, but he keeps begging me and pleading me to forgive him. I am afraid to trust him. What should I do when he has made me promises before, saying he wouldn’t do it again. Please help.
- ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
- ‘Anne’, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. ‘Anne’ and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
Frankly speaking, if you expect marriage to solve your relationship problems with this man, think again. Marriage is built on trust, promises, and above all, love —- and it is unhealthy to think that by marrying someone, he/she will automatically change for the better. You need to respect the man you are about to marry. Until you can, wholeheartedly, he is not the one for you. There are plenty of men in this world that are worthy of women’s respect. They are not the men who physically abuse women and lie time-and-again. Another element of your story brings into play your children. Do you want them to be raised in an environment where mistrust and violence play a role? You all deserve much better. Be strong. Take care, – Anne