My husband is totally avoiding me now, in bed and outside, due to his Erectile Dysfunction (ED) for which he is reluctant to seek any help or undergo counseling. I am frustrated and at a loss as to how to deal with this. Please help! This problem is there for the past 3 years now -intermittently now.
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Erectile dysfunction is the source of great shame and embarrassment for most men. This could be why he refuses to see the MD. It’s unfortunate because we know that this is a medical condition and not psychological and that there is medication that is very helpful in reversing the effects of the problem. In fact, if you husband watches television he must see the endless number of advertisements for the ED medications. Part of the problem is that there are many myths surrounding ED. For example:
Men all too easily believe that ED means they are not masculine and virile. Of course, this is not true. There are many biological problems that contribute to ED including diabetes, cardio vascular problems, high blood pressure and even some medications used in the treatment of other medical problems. Some people mistakenly believe that ED is a disease of the elderly. In reality, men of all ages are afflicted by this problem.
You mention, in the title of your E. Mail, that he experiences constriction in his chest but you do not elaborate. This could be a symptom of anything from heart disease to extreme anxiety. However, it’s always important to be seen by an MD because of the danger that he could be dealing with a dangerous heart problem. There is no question that men who survive heart attacks or fear that they are going to have a heart attack avoid sex out of an irrational fear that sexual activity could bring on an attack.
All of this could be easily resolved if your husband went to see his doctor for a complete physical examination. If he could go to the doctor despite his feelings of embarrassment, he would get real help and feel much better.
Please point these things out to him and good luck to both of you.