My husband and I have been separated for 2 months. He was having an affair with a waitress that worked in our restaurant. He is still having the affair (she is 19 – he, 32). We have a 14 month old daughter and every time he comes to visit we start crying and hugging. He says he still loves me and doesn’t have any answers as to why he is doing this. I can tell he’s really hurting too but is still seeing her. What’s the deal?
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The deal is: your husband needs to grow up and make up his mind, and if he is not “man” enough to do so, you need to be the strong one and stop letting him lead you to believe that he really doesn’t know why he is acting as he is. Right now, your husband has the best of both worlds, a wife (although separated) who wants him back, and a young girlfriend. When he leaves your house, he runs to her, and when he leaves her, he runs to you. I may be sounding a little harsh in my response, but I happen to think that your husband knows exactly why he is doing what he is doing. If he really loves you and wants to make things work with you and your child, then he will do the responsible thing and call it quits with his girlfriend and work through the problems that distanced you in the first place. Best of luck to you, – Anne