Need help breaking free from addiction?
Call 24/7 for treatment options. Who Answers?

Fickle Husband


My husband and I have been separated for 2 months. He was having an affair with a waitress that worked in our restaurant. He is still having the affair (she is 19 – he, 32). We have a 14 month old daughter and every time he comes to visit we start crying and hugging. He says he still loves me and doesn’t have any answers as to why he is doing this. I can tell he’s really hurting too but is still seeing her. What’s the deal?

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
  • Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
  • ‘Anne’, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. ‘Anne’ and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

The deal is: your husband needs to grow up and make up his mind, and if he is not “man” enough to do so, you need to be the strong one and stop letting him lead you to believe that he really doesn’t know why he is acting as he is. Right now, your husband has the best of both worlds, a wife (although separated) who wants him back, and a young girlfriend. When he leaves your house, he runs to her, and when he leaves her, he runs to you. I may be sounding a little harsh in my response, but I happen to think that your husband knows exactly why he is doing what he is doing. If he really loves you and wants to make things work with you and your child, then he will do the responsible thing and call it quits with his girlfriend and work through the problems that distanced you in the first place. Best of luck to you, – Anne

More "Ask Anne" View Columnists


Call the Helpline Toll-FREE

To Get Treatment Options Now.

1-888-993-3112 Who Answers? 100% Confidential

Get Help For You or a Loved One Here...

Click Here for More Info.


Call The Toll-FREE Helpline 24/7 To Get Treatment Options Now.

100% Confidential
Get Treatment Options From Your Phone... Tap to Expand