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Freshman In Love

Question:

OK, here goes. I am a 14 yr old freshman in high school. I have a mandatory class called success that just basically teaches how to get a job, etiquette and basic stuff like that. Well, I am in love with my teacher. I’m guessing she’s around 23 or 24. I have felt this since the first day I had her class. I tried to tell whether it was love or just a crush, but I know it was love. Not a minute goes by that I don’t think about her. I am failing a class partially because she is always on my mind. I keep trying to find the courage to tell her about this but never do. As far as I can tell, she is not married because she never talks about a husband or kids or anything, and she doesn’t wear a ring. I know there are like laws that restrict such behavior between students and teachers but frankly I don’t give a (obscenity deleted). Excuse the French but I just really don’t care about much else now that she is in my life. I only have her class one semester and I feel obligated to tell her because if i don’t I feel I will explode. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life and any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

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  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
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Answer:

Hello Freshman. You seem pretty obsessed with your teacher right now, which is all fine and good, (many people in your situation have fallen in love with their teachers) except . . . if your obsession crosses the line between love and stalking then there is a problem. There are both laws and ethics that prevent a teacher from having a relationship with a student. Beyond that, there is the large age and maturity difference to be considered. The reality is that most women in their twenties will not be much interested in having a relationship with a teenager even if there is no compelling social ultimatum for not having one. My strong advice is that you enjoy your teacher’s beauty and perfection from the distance you now uncomfortably enjoy. Don’t approach her and don’t tell her how you feel. If she were to reciprocate (a low probability event) you’d be putting her job in jeopardy. If she were to refuse you, you would be embarrassed and (even worse) you’d loose your fantasy of how nice she is. If you leave it alone, the chances are good that you won’t actually explode, and that you’ll have a very cool memory to look back on when you are older. My other strong advice is that you make yourself study in those classes you are failing so that you bring those grades up to a decent level. Love conquers a lot in this world, but it won’t substitute for bad grades in school (which can seriously mess up your future if you have any hopes of one day attending university). Keep your head (and heart) together and keep your pants on. There will be other women that you can really have a love relationship with soon enough.

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