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Haunted College Student

Question:

I have a wonderful boyfriend now who loves me unconditionally. However, I’m still having trouble letting go of the put downs from my ex-boyfriend. I’m a full-time college student, and my parents pay my tuition, my car insurance, and they don’t want me to pay rent. My parents want this for me, and I’m pulling straight A’s in school. My ex used to tell me that since I’m legally an adult, I should pay for all those things myself. But my job at the time was only minimum wage, so I couldn’t. He used to tell me I was irresponsible. My parents don’t feel that way because they want me to go to college, and I’m doing very well. Nobody else has made me feel this way. My ex was possibly jealous because he didn’t have a good relationship with his parents, nor a chance to go to college. Even though he’s not in my life anymore, the stuff he said to me still haunts me. He used to call me names and hit me also. How can I quit obsessing over the things he said to me? Was he right about the things he said, or was he trying to control me?

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Answer:

Most people would consider your present situation to be a very fortunate one. Count your blessings that your family values education and has the means to provide you with one. Your ex-boyfriend was certainly wrong when he put you down. Also, (in case it is not clear yet), do not stay involved with a man who calls you names and hits you. Such behavior is abuse, pure and simple. Remaining with such a man would be asking to be abused.

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