Need help breaking free from addiction?
Call 24/7 for treatment options. Who Answers?

Haunted College Student


I have a wonderful boyfriend now who loves me unconditionally. However, I’m still having trouble letting go of the put downs from my ex-boyfriend. I’m a full-time college student, and my parents pay my tuition, my car insurance, and they don’t want me to pay rent. My parents want this for me, and I’m pulling straight A’s in school. My ex used to tell me that since I’m legally an adult, I should pay for all those things myself. But my job at the time was only minimum wage, so I couldn’t. He used to tell me I was irresponsible. My parents don’t feel that way because they want me to go to college, and I’m doing very well. Nobody else has made me feel this way. My ex was possibly jealous because he didn’t have a good relationship with his parents, nor a chance to go to college. Even though he’s not in my life anymore, the stuff he said to me still haunts me. He used to call me names and hit me also. How can I quit obsessing over the things he said to me? Was he right about the things he said, or was he trying to control me?

This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below
  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • ‘Anne’ bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
  • Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by ‘Anne’ to people submitting questions.
  • ‘Anne’, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. ‘Anne’ and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

Most people would consider your present situation to be a very fortunate one. Count your blessings that your family values education and has the means to provide you with one. Your ex-boyfriend was certainly wrong when he put you down. Also, (in case it is not clear yet), do not stay involved with a man who calls you names and hits you. Such behavior is abuse, pure and simple. Remaining with such a man would be asking to be abused.

More "Ask Anne" View Columnists


Call the Helpline Toll-FREE

To Get Treatment Options Now.

1-888-993-3112 Who Answers? 100% Confidential

Get Help For You or a Loved One Here...

Click Here for More Info.


Call The Toll-FREE Helpline 24/7 To Get Treatment Options Now.

100% Confidential
Get Treatment Options From Your Phone... Tap to Expand