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He's Not Himself

Question:

I just was faced with my ultimate heartache, and am having a very hard time! I have been married for 5 years, and in those 5 years we lost both his parents (dad in ’94 and mom in ’98), with my husband being an only child. Our marriage has survived a head trauma (me), losing my jobs because of this, a move to a small town, and losing his parents. He has turned to drugs instead of facing reality. He left 1 week ago to think, but I find out he’s with another woman, which is so unlike any of his morals!! He has blown off all the bills etc. I have 2 children, and we all love him very much. He’s left home and is staying with this other woman. What can I do??

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  • ‘Anne’ is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
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Answer:

You have to decide what is best for you. He might come back or he might not. I’m guessing he is very confused and hurt right now. He probably thinks that if he can get away from everything it will just disappear. Basically, you have to decide if you can wait. If you feel you can’t wait it out, then start living your own life with your children. I can understand the pressure he is under, but that does not explain his moving in with another woman. One option you could try is to find him and try to talk to him. He may not want to listen, because he is scared. Perhaps you can convince him to get some professional help. A professional may be able to get through to him. He needs to understand that he can’t just run away from his responsibilities. He has two children who need him, both financially and emotionally. Hope things work out, – Anne

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